A moonwalking girl who seems like part of the crazy losers montage is actually Joanie from Beaver Falls. We learn that she is a preacher's daughter. She says that she respects her dad, and that he's a leader and a shepherd to hundreds of sheep. Joanie says that, growing up sheltered, you're bound to want to rebel, so she acted out. Tyra asks how, and Joanie says that she performed in some amateur nights at various strip clubs. Beaver Falls, indeed. And I have to say, I have no problem with stripping for money because, you know, we all have bills. But to do it for free is puzzling to me. Joanie also says that she was a cage dancer. Tyra notes that this appears to be specific rebellion against her father. Tyra asks Joanie to do her best stripping move, and Joanie asks the panel to clap along. Joanie interviews that her dad doesn't know about the stripping and the cage dancing and whatnot, but the Lord is the only one who can judge her. The Lord is like, "Bitch, get some self-respect." Joanie is totally going to shame her family.

Next is Leslie, eighteen, from Higley, Arizona. Leslie was my pre-show favorite, but now I don't know. She says that her grandparents had a huge influence on the way she was raised. She's Hispanic, so if she brought home a black guy, there would be problems. Tyra asks what would happen if Leslie brought home Miss J., and Leslie says that they don't have anything against black women, which makes everyone's day. Leslie says that she has a versatile look, in that she can pass for a number of different ethnicities. It is true. She walks in her swimsuit. I just have to tell you that I'm now on a totally full plane, and have just paused on a shot of Leslie's crotch. You don't realize how porny and embarrassing this show is until you watch it in public. Leslie has a tattoo that reads, "What nourishes me destroys me." It is the same tattoo Angelina Jolie has ["except I think Jolie's is in Latin" -- Wing Chun]. That's pretty lame. Miss J. says that Leslie has an "escort walk," and I don't know what that means. Jay notes that model Yasmeen Ghauri had the same type of walk, and she was a big-time model.

Next is Danielle, who tells the judges what she told us: she is not going home. She has a Letterman-sized gap between her two front teeth. But she has a more serious family tragedy. Her mom, whom she calls her rock, has rheumatoid arthritis, which means that her joints get swollen and deformed. She quite movingly tells how she's had to shower her mother, and how her mother feels bad about it, but that Danielle will do anything for her. She seems very devoted. The whole thing is pretty sad, but she's no New Orleans Wendy. Danielle says that the whole ordeal has made her stronger. In an industry in which you need tough skin, Danielle calls herself "an alligator without the bumps." That is what distinguishes her from Yaya. Oooh, disrespeito! Anyway, I like Danielle.