America's Next Top Model

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The Fug Boat

The twenty finalists sail off. Jennifer says that she's so excited, and she's going to do this. She says that the other girls should watch out, because she's he-ah, and she's not going anywhe-ah, and this is it. One of the spots is hers. With that, we head to commercials.

When we return, Mila is playing, "Tyra Banks loves me, Tyra Banks loves me not" with a carnation. Tyra herself enters and tells the girls that she's going to go into deliberation with Mr. and Miss J., look at their photos, and cull out the bitches who won't make the final thirteen. She asks the girls to tell her why she needs to choose them to be in the competition. Lisa tells Tyra that a lot of girls can relate to her, and a lot of people can relate to her. And a lot of strippers can relate to her, which is why she's the favorite of all the Rock of Love girls. Lisa tells us that she wants to do something good, and feels like she's never done anything too special. Oh, you're twenty. Let's not throw in the towel yet. Heather says that she wants to show the girls who are in the shadows and at the bottom of the social totem pole that just because you're not noticed, it doesn't mean you're not special. Tyra eats that right up. Marvita says that she should be in the Top Model house because she's had a dream to do it. She tells us that she doesn't even want to think about the possibility of not getting in the house. Neither do I. Marvita scares me a little. Jennifer says that she has fire and passion, and wasn't meant to be a bartender for the rest of her life -- she was meant to be America's Next Top Model. It's like karma for the hemorrhaged eye, I guess. Jennifer tells us hopefully that modeling is something that she's supposed to do, and now maybe she will have the opportunity. Or, maybe not.

Tyra and the Jays deliberate as the ship rocks and makes them queasy. Wouldn't it be awesome if water just started pouring in and everyone started screaming and then the cameras cut out? Oh, did I say "awesome"? I meant to say "tragic." The Jays both think that Jenah is high fashion, and Mr. Jay says she belongs in a Prada campaign. Tyra says that Saleisha is the kind of girl who needs America's Next Top Model. Without it, she'd be a mediocre model, but with a makeover and help, she could be...a mediocre model who was on a reality show! Miss J. thinks that Mila has everything it takes to be a top model, according to her. Mr. Jay says that his problem with Ambreal is that she's tall but looks short. I can't tell if Mr. J. likes Kimberly or not, but Miss J. says that she can be quite sexy. Mr. Jay likes how different Marvita is, but Miss J. thinks she's more ready-to-wear than high fashion. Mr. Jay likes Lisa's vulnerability. Tyra loves Victoria's look and her long face, but apparently Miss J. thinks she looks like Eeyore. Mr. Jay sees Italian high fashion from Chantal, and thinks she has a natural stance. Bianca will be all right once she loses the $25 weave, according to Mr. Jay.

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America's Next Top Model

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