America's Next Top Model

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Come Go-See With Me

The girls hop into their cabs with six hours to go. Bianca tells us that the go-see challenge is a really important one, because if you win, Tyra sees that you can make it. Saleisha says that they have maps and addresses, and the cab will drop them off in the area of the designer, but once you step out of the cab, it's up to you to find the precise location. Saleisha exits her cab in the pouring rain and makes her way up to the studio of designer Lu Kun. He asks her if she likes sexy clothes, and she tells him she likes jeans and t-shirts. Lu thinks that Saleisha is a very pretty girl, but that, "She's just so...dull." HA! I love that guy. We then cut to Heather, who reiterates that once you exit the cab, you're on your own in terms of finding the designer. I mean, they have to be, like, a block away at most, right? No matter, though. Heather gets lost. Uh-oh. Chantal sees Lu Kun next and tells us that he put her in a sheer dress. This is problematic, because Chantal is not wearing nude underwear, and she knows she's supposed to be. She has bright pink underwear with black lace. Lu Kun was so distracted, she said, that he didn't care about her walk. If ever there were a right time to go commando, this is it. Though maybe blonde puss would have been more distracting even than the underwear? Lu Kun admonishes her and sends her on her way.

Bianca sees the designers at the House of Mercury, one of whom is apparently named "Designer." Designer says she looks edgier with her short hair, and that she prefers it. She asks if Bianca prefers runway work or print, and Bianca answers that she loves to walk. Designer Stephen Peng was very impressed, because Bianca was tall and friendly and had character. It is true that, despite how stank she is, or maybe because of how stank she is, Bianca is the remaining contestant that I think I'd most enjoy hanging out with. Unless she were verbally berating me. Chantal sees designer Flora Zeta next, who outfits her in a pregnant elf's party frock. Flora says she'd book Chantal for print work, but not catwalk -- at least not yet.

Meanwhile, Heather has been wandering for about a half-hour. She interviews that you'd think it would be easy since they have maps, but the maps are in Chinese. "It's all Greek to me," she adds. Oh, now Heather's caught the dumb-assberger's, too. As if she didn't have enough problems. Jenah makes it to Lu Kun. She says that designers are looking for personality, but her outlook is, like, "Whatever." As long as they knows she's a good model, she says, she doesn't really care. That is possibly the sign of a personality-deficient being, right there. Lu Kun tells Jenah that she looks like Christy Turlington. If Christy Turlington had a spawn-producing threesome with Howdy Doody and Shelley Duvall, then gave birth in a pool of bleach, maybe. That is an insult to everyone in the "Freedom 90" video, and I won't stand for it. Jenah says, "I'm a great model." Easy there, Mickey Rooney.

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America's Next Top Model

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