America's Next Top Model

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Come Go-See With Me

When we return, it's panel time! And what better way to enter than with a photo of Tyra squatting like she's going to give birth in a rice field, complete with Saleisha's haircut! Yes, Tyra is sporting the Tootie hair. I guess that officially makes her "Tootra." And probably lays to rest any doubts that Tootra Junior will be the winner. Life is so unfair. In any case, there are prizes, there are judges. Susan Yang is the guest judge. Tyra announces that the four girls who survive this elimination will be heading to Beijing.

Chantal is up first for elimination, and gets chided for being twenty minutes late for her go-see challenge. Tyra tells the girls that they give the time limits because, at the end of a day of go-seeing, you may have a job or a flight to catch. So they're testing the girls' time management, because there can be big opportunities at the end of go-sees. Except for these girls there wouldn't be, as none of them would actually get booked in a thousand Chinese lunar years. But I digress. The designers thought that Chantal was likeable and sweet, and that she should wear nude underwear. Chantal notes that they had just sent their laundry out, and Miss J. tells her to wash that shit in the sink and dry her drawers with a hair dryer. I'm usually too busy drying my armpits with a hairdryer to even get around to that. The judges think that Chantal's photo is strong, though she has some weird hand placement. Nigel tells her that every time she got positive feedback on the shoot, she'd break from her posing and get all excited. Tyra makes her be continuously fierce while she yells praise at her.

Bianca is next, and Tyra says that she booked two out of the three go-sees she went on. China likes her! I guess this means we'll all be able to buy little keychain-sized Bianca miniatures at the dollar store this Christmas! And don't forget your Bianca snow globe! Tyra loves Bianca's body language in her photo, but says that Bianca forgot about her face. Twiggy adds that Bianca looks great from the neck down. High praise, high praise. Nigel says that Bianca was giving and wanted to try different things in the shoot, but she wasn't fluid. So he had to bust out the Astroglide. Seriously, why does everything Nigel say sound so pervy lately?

Then there's Jenah, who also gets chastised for being late at the go-sees. The designers said that Jenah had a diverse portfolio and a good walk, but she could work on being a little more personable and was also messy-looking. This is the polite Chinese way of saying that she looks and acts like ass in person. Seriously, she always looks so gross. Twiggy loves Jenah's shot, and says it's a great fashion picture. It really is great, I have to admit. Nigel says that Jenah takes great pictures consistently; however -- and it's a big however -- Jenah has to watch her sarcastic sense of humor, which comes off as arrogance. He tells her to be careful, because she's stepping on a very fine line right now. Oooh! Tyra tells Jenah that there's a way to make a joke with someone you're subordinate to. And it's probably not by telling them that they have a giant pole up their ass. ["I need to rewrite Wing's Christmas card." -- Miss Alli] Tyra also has noticed that Jenah has a superior attitude, which comes across. Jenah nods, and can barely contain herself from rolling her giant bug eyes.

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America's Next Top Model

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