America's Next Top Model

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Rock-a-Bye Bitches

Bianca walks and tells us that her biggest competitor right now is Saleisha. She says it's important for her to have a signature walk, because a signature walk is based in personality, and a lot of the girls don't have much personality. Saleisha. Miss J. tells Bianca that she needs more treatment. He points out her exaggerated posing. Saleisha, of course, has to tell us that she's glad Miss J. made that comment, because you could never do that kind of thing on a couture runway. Oh, and I'm so sure Saleisha would know. I'm so Team Bianca right now! What's happening to me? Saleisha walks, and Miss J. compliments her. She interviews that she's not starting from scratch like some of the other girls. Bianca gives Saleisha credit for her walk, but still thinks Saleisha's the Baroness of Blandsville.

The next day, or another day -- I mean, you know how the time/space continuum is made of Play-Doh on this show -- Bianca is crowing about how determined she is and how she always meets the goals she sets for herself. Yeah, but so far those goals have consisted of "Get a weave for under $30." Saleisha, not to be out-annoyinged, says that she's wanted to model since she was fifteen, and in fact has modeled since she was fifteen. She says, "I've worked print, runway, I've done it all." And has been so successful at it that she has to gaggle up with the rest of these losers and submit herself to Tymiliation on a weekly basis. Kimberly, inoffensive as ever, says that she has no experience at all, and that her dad's just been taking pictures of her all her life. Illegitimate spawn of Joe Simpson, perhaps? Kimberly says she's intimidated by Saleisha's experience.

Saleisha then says that she's worked and done things, but photographers don't tell you anything, and just put you in front of a camera. When you're doing print work for the local Benny's circular, maybe. Bianca argues that it does give her an advantage. Saleisha then stands up on the bed and says that she's going to be real -- it's a competition, and she doesn't care who attacks her. She's there to win, she says, and probably will win. I think the "I probably will win" was pretty unnecessary. She says it shouldn't intimidate the other girls; it should just make them work harder. Kimberly tells us that Bianca was just asking Saleisha questions, and Saleisha got all heated like they were attacking her. Bianca and Kimberly, who are in a bed together, just kind of laugh at Saleisha as she's standing on the other bed and waving her arms all around. Eventually, though, Bianca goes beyond simply asking questions and yells that she doesn't see Saleisha as her competition. Saleisha, she says, does not have a better body type than she does and is, in fact, borderline plus-size. And honestly, isn't that kind of a great go-to insult to have in this context?

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America's Next Top Model

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