America's Next Top Model

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Rock-a-Bye Bitches

Saleisha interviews that she tried to stay cool. But when you have Bianca's big E.T. finger in your face, it's kind of hard to do that. Bianca then totally tells Saleisha she looks like a Bratz doll. And again, she kind of has a point. The two girls are then face-to-face and really going at it, and when she notices that Saleisha has to really stretch to look her in the eye, Bianca tells Saleisha to please stand on her toes. Heee. Meanwhile, Ebony is just looking on and smiling, happy that she took Tyra's intervention to heart. Saleisha eventually plays the "She's only eighteen and I'm a grown-ass woman and don't have time for this" card, and Bianca caps off the argument by telling Saleisha to go look at her thighs in the mirror. And T-Zone camp or not, you know that Saleisha TOTALLY looked at her thighs in the mirror that night and made a pact with herself to do more squats.

Saleisha interviews that Bianca's only eighteen and needs to learn to control herself. Well, oh wise twenty-one-year-old, it didn't exactly look like Bianca was screaming into blank air, now, did it? Saleisha tells some other girls that Bianca is intimidated. Then I'm sure she asks them if her thighs look fat. Sarah tells us that Bianca and Saleisha are kind of on and off and get testy and cranky, but she's sure it's related to stress. Everyone's tired and tempers are high. Yeah, and Bianca is just kind of stank that way. To wit, an extended quote from Bianca: "I will hit them where it hurts. I don't need to fight you to hurt you. I can really hurt you in this competition. I have no problem doing it. I will get real grimy. I'll start cutting up clothes." Ha! Grimy! I love it. And now, another, from the confessional: "I can break these bitches down one by one. I refuse to let these bitches think that I'm not a real model. Don't let the red hair fool you, bitches, I can be very high fashion, okay?" I mean, what's not to love? Commercials.

We return to Tyra Mail: "You survived the madhouse, and now you're bound to be a success. Love, Tyra." Saleisha guesses that it's a runway challenge, and they'll be bound. It's really clever to deduce that the girls might be bound from a clue that has the word "bound" in it. The girls go and meet fashion-show producer and general gadabout Roy Campbell, whom you may remember from the infamous prom fashion show where Sarah's boob popped out. Roy tells the girls that they are going to be in a couture fashion show, wearing gowns by designer Colleen Quen. Colleen comes out and tells the girls that the challenge is not only to watch the girls walk, but see how they move in the garment with restrictions and bring out the spirit of the garment. In keeping with the horror theme, I hope the spirit of the garment then proceeds to throw TVs at all of them. I am the spirit of the garment! Trapped in the garment for 10,000 years! Feel my wrath, bitches! For it is fierce! Colleen says that she'll be debuting in Paris with her collection next year, and the winner of the challenge will get to go to Paris and walk in that show. Okay, that is a serious prize. Kimberly talks some more about how she's from the sticks and was totally blown away by the whole thing. Blown, in fact, back to Ocala on a manure-tinged wind, as we will soon see.

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America's Next Top Model




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