America's Next Top Model
The Girls Go To Phuket

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Go-sees? Ah, Phuket.

Tyra Mail! "Don't worry about how, just know why. Go see if you learned anything." It does not take a rocket scientist, or even a half-wit, to decipher this clue, and the girls all immediately know that they'll be heading on go-sees. The next day, they go to a temple, which Jade describes as, "The most beautiful temple I've seen...up close." This is not the same reaction that people have when they see Jade's face up close. At the temple, the girls meet designer Pichita Rucksajit, whose English is even worse than Danielle's. Pichita says that she's a former model, and that she is there to teach them some Thai customs. These include taking off your shoes when you enter someone's house or office, and smiling all the time so that people will like you (national slogan, put forth in commercials by Susan Olsen: "Turn that frown up-Thaied down"). Joanie says that she thinks everyone understands learning Thai culture is important, but she doesn't think that anyone else is taking it as seriously as she is. Oh, go stick yourself in a can of baby corn.

Pichita says that she's set up go-sees for the day, and if Top Model has taught us one thing, it is the definition of a go-see. And you said Tyra Banks never contributed anything to popular culture other than yet another spectacular pair of knockers! The girls will be judged on their adherence to Thai customs, general appearance, model book, and runway walk. Pichita says that it is customary to bring a gift to someone. I want to live in Thailand and receive lots of visitors! Today the girls will have to bring gifts to their go-see designers, and they'll each get 2500 baht ($65 US) to buy said gifts. Pichita gives each of the girls a map and their model books, tells them to be back at their final location by 4:30 PM, and wishes them luck. Who needs luck when you're really pretty? In other words, Jade will require the well wishes. Jade interviews that Pichita really stressed to them that they needed to be back at 4:30 PM. Foreshadowing! And usually, when there is a particularly poignant bit of foreshadowing, they cut to a commercial, but not this time. Drat, I wanted a break.

The girls head to Montien Market to buy their gifts. It looks like a colorful place, and Danielle says that there's stuff everywhere. Jade buys some fake flowers. Danielle gets miniature elephants, and thinks that the designers will appreciate them because elephants are significant in Thai culture. Sara gets some sort of little pretty boxes, and, after she pays, turns around and says, "Oh, my God, I am an idiot. Where is my book?" Sadly, it's at the last store where she bought her gifts. I hate when things go well for them. Sara says that it was not a good way to start the day. She explains that once she got the gifts, she ran out and got into her tuk-tuk, which is like a little open-sided cab. And no, spellcheck, I really didn't mean to say that the girls had to travel in a "tic-tac." Jade says that if it was up to her she wouldn't have "chose" to ride in the "toot toot hoot hoot hoop hoop tut tut hoopty;" she would have had something with windows and doors. I'm sure Jade's brain says that same thing all the time. Though I must confess, I love the word "hoopty," and the fact that she said it made me love Jade a little.

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America's Next Top Model

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