America's Next Top Model
The Girls Go To Phuket

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Go-sees? Ah, Phuket.

Meanwhile, Season 5 winner Nicole went to Paris to shoot with creepy Gilles Bensimon. It's amazing that she has done, like, two things in her entire modeling career, and they've managed to stretch those out into eleven My Life as a Cover Girl commercials. Oy.

When we return, there is Tyra Mail in a coconut. As always, delicious, but high in fat. Tyra Mail reads, "The competition is getting dirty. Now it's time to take a bath." But before we can get to this scintillating shoot, we are treated to a Very Special Visit from Tyra. She is wearing the worst teal-colored extra-clingy Victoria's Secret matching halter top and gaucho pants, and the ensemble makes her look HUGE. Seriously, it's like Nell Carter was like, "I got nothing to do today, I think I'll go say hello to the Top Model girls in Phuket!" Those pants are also riding high. As my friend Miriam likes to say, "Judy's in jail." My mom's name is Judy, so I don't like to think about that too much, actually.

Tyra takes the girls outside and gives them a lesson in recent events. She says that Phuket is beautiful, but was also the scene of the tsunami. We get a few photos of supporting evidence, and I am pleased to say that they aren't the expected ones of Tyra looking fierce in a bra as a city lies in shambles about her. Tyra tells the girls that every country has a story, and it's important to respect the history and culture. Jade says that the whole thing was very emotional for her, but she's a soldier and so held it together. Danielle, however, is very moved. Tyra says that she doesn't want this day to be about sadness, but rather about celebrating the fact that Phuket is rebuilt, and is now safe and beautiful. Tyra leads the group in a moment of silence for those who did and did not survive the tsunami. There's something about Top Model even acknowledging tragedies that just feels so wrong. The girls discuss their history lesson, and Danielle seems particularly affected by it. Joanie says that thinking about the tsunami made all the tensions and petty squabbles between the girls disappear for a minute. But, really, only for a minute.

The girls ride on a boat and meet Jay Manuel, who says that today's shoot will be for (the now defunct) ElleGirl and Amp'd Mobile, America's first wireless entertainment provider. In an extra-special surprise, the clients are there. Sara says that she feels extra-pressure knowing that. Jay tells the girls that the shoot will be a real spread in ElleGirl, and Danielle yells, "Shut your mouth and say it ain't so!" Actually, it isn't so. Since ElleGirl folded, I don't know what will happen with the photos. Also, Amp'd Mobile users can download the images to their cell phones. If you have done this, email me immediately so I can give you a list of all the more worthwhile things you could have bought with that $1.99, and then proclaim that you are dead to me. The girls will wear OP swimwear, which is super-cute. The girls briefly meet the two clients, and then head off to wardrobe. Danielle waxes philosophical about the water that they're posing in being the same water that destroyed so much.

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America's Next Top Model

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