America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 2 USERS: A+

Bianca asks Heather why she's crying and freaking out. We hear Jenah say that she'll sleep on the couch and doesn't care, and then cut to Bianca interviewing, "Ha ha! Heather was freaking out! That was so funny." She thanks Saleisha for making her day, and says that was hilarious. Now, see, this is just plain old mean-girl behavior, and I have never wished quite so hard for someone to actually have nefarious telekinetic powers. When Heather is obviously really upset, it's time to stop being a dick and just give her the bed. Heather interviews that the other girls walk all over her, and that she doesn't think they're taking her seriously. Bianca, with Heather right behind her, says again that it was so funny, and that Heather cracks her up. Heather says she wishes she could get the joke, and Bianca replies, "YOU. You the joke." Oooh, please let Heather get demon-face and grab Bianca by the skull and demon-voice, "It's impolite to use a sentence without a verb," and then crush said skull into smithereens! Heather tearfully interviews that she's really over it, but is not going to let this bring her down. Commercials.

When we return, Chantal interviews that there was a big drama about who was going to sleep where, and that Heather got emotional. She adds that she doesn't like to see anyone ganged up on, and Heather often is ganged up on. Chantal knows that Heather can be frustrating, but still sees fit to intervene. She asks if there are two girls who can share a bed, and Bianca quickly volunteers to share the bed with Jenah. She couldn't have done that half an hour ago? Bianca somehow thinks that she's being magnanimous for volunteering to share a bed with Jenah. She interviews that she knows Heather has a disability or whatever, but at the same time, she doesn't like the fact that Heather is twenty-one and needs people to stand up for her. Well, I'm not crazy about the fact that Bianca is eighteen and still needs to pick on people because she's jealous of how well they're doing, so let's call it even.

A gong announces Tyra Mail. Are we sure the girls shouldn't have to read it by paper lantern? The Tyra Mail reads, "I can't stand the fighting and the bitchiness in the house -- but I love it on set. Get ready to kick some ass! Love, Tyra." The girls think that this means acting and/or kung fu. Heather interviews that Bianca might be getting a little annoyed with her, but that she's giving up on stressing because she's wasting too much energy on it.

The next morning, the girls head off to their challenge. Saleisha -- continuing in the vein of "Let's get this party on the road" -- says, "Let's rock and ro-oll." Chantal adds, "Kicking butt in China." It is pretty funny that the likes of these other five consider Heather to be annoying. Saleisha impolitely tells Heather to shut the door behind her, and we're off. They arrive at a film studio, where they meet their tour guide, Louis. He points out where the Jackie Chan movie The Mask was filmed, and then a couple folks come out of nowhere for a big karate battle. We get a reaction shot, and for some reason Lisa's tank top is all wet down the front. Louis reveals his true identity -- he's Louis Liu, a professional martial arts artist. He says that, in modeling, moving and using your body is very important, so today they'll be learning the basics of the Chinese martial arts form. Heather tells us that she loves the whole idea of martial arts and always wanted to learn it when she was a kid, but that her mom never let her. "Thanks a lot, Mom," she adds. I'm guessing her mom made up for it somehow.

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America's Next Top Model




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