America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 3 USERS: A+
Another Brick In The Wall

The girls get their makeup done, and also get some crazy-ass hair. It's giant buns and cones for everyone! And ...wait a second. Where's Tootie's hair???? I think Saleisha is actually bald as Telly Savalas and that Facts of Life monstrosity she's been sporting is actually a wig! It's all crooked and one sided! For some reason, for me, this just adds more fuel to the fire that the show is fixed for a Saleisha victory. They couldn't even tell the truth about her awful hair! Anyway, Jenah says she's under so much pressure and not sleeping regularly and missing her family, and it's really hard to deal with. Hmmm, I wonder if this is going to come up later at all.

Tyra introduces herself to the extras and says that today, they are warriors. I bet they wondered what they were doing in suits of armor with spears in their hand. Thanks, Tyra, for clearing that up. Chantal is out first with her giant dual cone hair. Tyra snaps some shots, and seems to give Chantal praise, then tells her to look more like a dancer. She and Jay tell Chantal that her shoot was good. Chantal is excited. Then there's Jenah. Tyra asks her what she wants to overcome in life, and what wall she wants to climb. That's SO Tyra. It would be awesome if Jenah took the question literally and was all, "The Berlin Wall! Oh, wait..." But Jenah understands the spirit of the question and says she wants to get to know herself. She interviews that she feels like she's losing herself in the competition -- she wants to know who she is, and who the judges think she is. I thought we all knew that the judges think she's a pill? Tyra says that the real Jenah is on the other side of the wall. Jenah just kind of stares over the wall with a semi-frightened look. Maybe she got a glimpse of one giant tooth? Jenah is nervous to do a shoot with Tyra, but says it's another example of knowing you have to kick ass. Jay tells Tyra that Jenah was nervous with Nigel, and even more nervous with her. He asks how nervous she's going to be when she works. Tyra and Jay do an on-the-fly where Tyra says Jenah is a good model, but asks who she is, and then acts as if she's Dr. Phil and Oprah combined, because she connects this to Jenah saying that she's trying to find herself. If you are in need of a psychological breakthrough, look no further.

Bianca is next, and says that Tyra is the biggest person to impress. Heh. It's hard to think of her as just one photographer. Again, heh. The pressure is on. Jay whispers to Bianca, "No stiff poses today," and she proceeds to be exceedingly stiff. She requires a fair amount of direction, but Bianca starts to get it after Tyra shows her what she wants. Jay says that Bianca's last twenty frames were good, but the first forty were painful. Then we have Saleisha. She says she has to bring it, more than bring it, she's gotta bring it then bring it. Well, it's no worse than your average Jaslene My Life as a Cover Girl, I suppose. Saleisha holds her giant sword and starts doing some jumps, which Tyra and Jay love. None of the other girls jumped, and Jay tells Saleisha that this was her best shoot ever. In their on-the-fly, Tyra starts jumping like Saleisha, which is enough to scare the bejesus out of any Mongol or Barbarian.

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America's Next Top Model




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