America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

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Potes: B+ | 538 USERS: C+
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The girls enter Capetown, and Brittany starts to mimic African music. Not necessarily in a mean way, but in an "I'm kind of an idiot" way. We then hear actual African music, and Brittany isn't really that far off. More beautiful footage that makes me want to go to South African instantly. The girls meet Pierre Kameel, the manager of the Aquilla Game Reserve. He looks and sounds a bit like the love child of Crocodile Dundee and Martina Navratilova. The girls walk up to a drumming circle, and Naima interviews that it was very dope and hip. And then speaking of dope and hips, along flounces Tyra, dancing like a madwoman. Keenyah interviews that Tyra always pops up at the weirdest times and, judging by the low-cut Victoria's Secret top that she is wearing, may in fact pop out at the weirdest times. Her weave is crazy and shines a nuclear alert red in the South African sun. Tyra starts telling the girls that South Africa is an up-and-coming fashion capital, and she is totally out of breath from her crazy-ass dance. She says that many new models now come to South Africa to make it, and that her first Sports Illustrated cover was shot there. We see this cover, along with Tyra on the cover of South African Cosmopolitan, and I must say that she looks fantastically beautiful. What the hell happened? Michelle says that none of the girls had any idea that South Africa was so big for fashion. They also have no idea of the meanings of many two-syllable words, as we will soon come to find out.

Tyra tells the girls that they will have lots of adventures, and asks if they can get their groove on. The drumming starts up again, along with the Tyra dancing, and it becomes clear that she's taking rhythm lessons from Oprah, too. Like, you know how whenever Oprah has a musical guest on they always keep cutting to her, and she totally never has the beat? That's what's happening now, but with more bouncing saline. Some traditional dancers come out, which takes the girls -- especially Kahlen, judging from her interview -- aback. Tyra, still high on the happy pill that she pilfered from Janice, drags the girls into the dancing circle and then flounces off yelling, "BYE!" The girls suddenly notice that she's gone. "Quickness," says Brittany, in a way that indicates that they all know Tyra's losing it, too.

America's Next Top Model

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