Christina looked a little crazy in her "happiness" pose, and passionless during "passion." Her photo gets rave reviews, Janice saying it’s the best she's ever taken. Gerta says that Christina's weak spot is her mouth. Tyra then tells Christina that she's going to teach her a trick to give her a full top lip, and that she does not, in fact, need surgery. She rips off a Post-It, folds it up, and tells Christina to stick it under her top lip. Janice starts to scream, "This is what the industry's all about! Chicken cutlets for the breasts! Even men stick fake penises down there for underwear jobs!" And seriously, that must go on the highlight reel. You may not be able to tell how awesome it was just from reading it but trust me, it ruled. Anyway, Christina looks retarded. And my girlfriend and I tried this trick and agreed that we looked equally ridiculous. It doesn't really work, no matter what Tyra says. And now I'm off to buy some chicken cutlets.
Brittany's posing was too much, and Nigel says they've told her time and time again that she's gorgeous when she's quiet and simple. She does, however, rock the photo. Kahlen did a great job on the emotion posing until it came to passion where, as her storyline dictates, she held back. Tyra says she wants to see passion, and then says, "Let's do passion together, Janice." Janice rises from her chair in this eerily still way and says, "You want to see passion?" She then gives Tyra a full-on tongue kiss, and Tyra actually tries to push her face away. Crazy stripper music plays as Date Rape Janice will not take no for an answer. She and Tyra fall to the ground and Janice pulls Tyra on top and wraps her leg around her as Nigel gets the biggest cheese and says he'd like to be involved. And from now on, I don't think a week will be complete unless I see some of Janice Dickinson's pixilated bits. The bar has just been set too high. Janice says, "Just kidding," and starts to get up, and then screams "Wait! Wait! Passion!" again and climbs on top of a face-down Tyra. I have suddenly become Anaïs Nin, and I don't think I like it. Janice says that it's just two girls having fun, but Tyra is mildly terrified. In any case, Kahlen's springbok picture is great and everyone loves it.
Judging. Naima looks amazing in her picture, but Gerta says she holds back a lot. Janice thinks that Brittany has what it takes to be a top model. Nigel says that she's an exaggeration, and like a walking exclamation mark, which is not pretty. Janice makes a face behind his back. Michelle is weak and nervous in person, but she pulls out beautiful photos, according to Nigel. Janice just thinks she sucks. Kahlen nailed the springbok, according to Gerta, who says she knows the animal very well. Janice says, "How well do you know it?," and Gerta, not knowing Janice very well, replies that it's her national animal. Christina was a great ostrich, but an ice queen in person. Keenyah is getting a bit careless and going down week by week. Nolé says that she's getting a bit too elephant for him, and Janice says, "Takes one to know one." Nolé says he's proud of it, and Janice rolls her eyes again. I would love to just watch the tapes of the judges' deliberation in real time.