America's Next Top Model
The Girls The Lionesses Are Hunting

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Then, J. makes the girls get down in the mud and pose like each animal. We see each girl on a split screen opposite a still of the actual animal. And really, it's kind of stupid. Naima says that, mostly due to the conditions, it sucked. J. tells the girls to pose like the tiger who almost attacked him, and says that it was attracted to his scent, "Eau de Negress." More stills. J. says that he loves how much Christina, who is wearing a newsboy cap and has her arm straight out, looks like a lawn jockey. He wants to put a lantern in her hand. It's totally, totally true, and was the funniest bit in the episode until I saw what Janice had in store for us at judging. Keenyah says that she thought she did well and didn't take everything so literally, unlike Brittany, who was always engaged in some sort of mouthy growl. And part of that might actually (ding!) be due to her slack jaw. But it appears that Keenyah's comment is a bit of sour grapes, because Brittany wins. Woo! She interviews that even if she goes home, she can say she won a challenge and thus isn't a total loser. Brittany picks Keenyah and Christina as her two tag-along friends, but does not yet know what her prize is.

Jay tells the girls that he has yet to show them the fiercest animal of all, and Tyra comes skipping out in a quilted puffy pink hooded jacket. That hood is surely not doing her weave any favors. She tells the girls that, in her first L.A. fashion show, she got the direction to walk like a cat, but took it too literally rather than being "feline-like." She says that photographers will often tell models to pose like a certain animal, and that the girls must learn how to do it exactly but then draw back from it a bit and do their own thing. None of this makes sense, but I am paid to simply tell you what goes on, and so that is what I'm doing. Tyra tells the girls that they're doing a special and amazing shoot with some other models. At this cue, a bunch of ravenous-looking lions start running around in a caged-off area. The girls look nervous. Tyra starts whooping a lot, and I start to think she might be a new devotee of the Whitney Houston crack is whack diet. Tyra and J. start hemming and hawing about how they don't know if they should do the shoot today. Tyra says that she isn't feeling the rain, and then says, "I think y'all gonna have to do this shoot in AFRICA!!!!!!" Tyra jumps up and down a lot and yells, having taken lessons from watching over and over again the episode where Oprah gives away the Pontiacs. She tells the girls that they are going to South Africa, and that they have to pack tonight. Everyone group hugs and jumps up and down and says, "Africa! South Africa!" And then, blessedly for the love of my ears, commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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