America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

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Djb: A | 1091 USERS: C+
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Further Teachings From The Book Of Robin

And now, the seeds planted for future drama. Jay stands with Elyse before her shoot (waaaaaaaaay before, as she's actually fully dressed again, for some reason) and shares with her that, while they were at Carven, Robin was in her dressing room, called out "Mister Jay!" and "opened up the drape, and she was in a panty, no bra, and was, like, shaking her boobs at me. But what she didn't know is that Tyra was standing right next to me, around the corner." Then Jay went into shock therapy and the entire production staff was sent to bed without ice cream for letting pivotal plot developments of the season get away from them and thus having to orchestrate it getting passed down by the oral tradition.

Elyse is greased up and naked.

In a dressing room in the back, Robin and Shannon each tell Jay that they're not going to take part in the shoot. Jay asks Shannon if Robin had any effect on his decision, and she defends herself, "She's her. And I'm me." Robin takes it one step further, explaining, "Last week, it was bra and panties...this week, it's two strands of ribbon and a thong. What's it gonna be next week?" Next week it's an inside out shoot, where your flesh is turned inside out and your internal organs grotesquely displayed. In a shoot that advertises sunglasses.

We're packing up from Paris. Adrianne tells us that she "loved Paris," while Robin shares, "Paris has left a bittersweet taste in my mouth." Wrong. Not an expression. So it's a good thing she takes some time and is really thoughtful in articulating her parting shot from Paris: "France is gorgeous. But my experiences in France, they weren't the most happiest [sic]." Sigh. I...sigh. A stock footage plane we're supposed to believe they're on takes off, and we're back in New York City, with its Milan Room that all four of the girls now need to live in. The forwarding address seems to have worked, for there's a Tyra Mail! Tyra Mail! waiting for them, reading, "Welcome back...tomorrow, three of you will continue on to become America's Next Top Model. One of you will be eliminated." They all sound amazed that the elimination is the following day, but the Tyra Mail! Tyra Mail! never lies, and...Robin, what's with all the unpacking?

America's Next Top Model

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