It's time for the girls to pack their bags, y'all, because they're going to Sydney, Australia! Can you hear, can you hear the thunder? It's almost as loud as the sound of Tyra's wig falling off when she emerges from a kangaroo costume. I guess you had to be there. Anyway, the girls get a lesson in interviewing techniques from Season 2's April and her friend, who shall be called Small Fry. They get to put those skills, such as they are, to use when they are challenged to interview Sydney locals about American fashion faux pas while throwing in a healthy heaping of Aussie slang. The winner gets to serve as a correspondent on The Tyra Banks Show. And it is...Natasha! She rules the challenge as well as the Cover Girl commercial shoot, which takes the place of a photo shoot this week. The girls have to speak with an Australian accent in the commercial, and Renee uses the opportunity to give Steve Irwin an easy, breezy, beautiful eulogy of sorts. Dionne and Jaslene are somewhat middling. Jaslene, at the very least, gets through her lines without cue cards, but displays an unsettling amount of frown lines. Jael is predictably not the greatest, and Brittany also has a difficult time, due in part to a car accident that left her with eight staples in her head and a compromised short-term memory. I know! Top Model is really rolling out the tragedies this year, isn't it? In any case, the judges feel a little bit bad for Brittany, but agree that she has to figure out a way to get the job done and/or toughen up a bit, so she lands in the bottom two. However, much to Twiggy's endless delight, it is Jael's turn to go home and leave the rest of us unprotected against the evil ducks of the universe.
Previously on ANTM: Dionne and Renee reunited with their whiny brats and various other assorted family members. Several ANTM has-beens came back for the week's photo shoot in a sort of genetically blessed reunion (but without Great-Uncle Ernie playing the ukulele, which is what always happens at my family reunions). Natasha rocked it even with fake dots of flesh-eating bacteria all over her face, Jael fell flat in her attempt at recreating a Vagus-nerve-induced fainting spell, and Whitney was let loose to no longer terrorize the world of modeling. Six bitches remain!
We enter with Jael and Jaslene talking. Jael says that something -- we are to deduce that it is the experience of being on Top Model -- is awesome. Jaslene says that it's getting harder and she's trying her ass off, but she doesn't like hearing that she's going down, down, down. Under! Oh, sorry, I thought we were playing Password. Jaslene tells Jael that she thinks they're making it harder for her. Okay, first of all, who are "they," and why does this mysterious "they" have something against Jaslene? Is it the voices in her head, or the little angel/devil drag queens on her shoulders? Jaslene interviews that she needs to step up her game and says that the pressure is on all the time.
Brittany tells us that it's exciting to be in the final six. She's halfway through, she says, and she did a good job. She says that she guesses she needs to stand out. Hmm, methinks it might be time to pull out a long-lost personal tragedy! Natasha tells Jael that in Moscow, she had so many friends, and they would go out all the time. Jael asks if there are a lot of pretty girls in Moscow, and Natasha answers in the affirmative. Is Jael now looking for a low-cost wife? Natasha interviews that growing up in Moscow, she always believed that she could do something bigger than marrying some guy from the next door. So she married some guy from the Texas instead. Natasha says that she feels so strong, and like she doesn't have any competition. She tells Jael that American girls are pretty, but in a different way. You know, a kind of generically unattractive way. Jael says that everyone in the house is eccentric, and that's why she thinks she deserves to be there. Yeah, but it's not called America's Next Top Eccentric, is it? Jael has complete faith in herself, because she is the spreader of light. Light's not all she's spreading, if you catch my drift. There's a whole long list of things, of which bacteria is most definitely first.