America's Next Top Model
The Girls Who Go To Milan

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Tyra Mail! Tyra Mail! Blah blah blah one of you will be eliminated blee. Into la stanza di eliminazione the five remaining girls want. Judges. IMG. Fashion spread. Sephora. They're sitting in the opposite order that they sit in in New York, because water spirals the wrong way down the bidet. The last judge, though, is named Michael Giannini, who works for D'Management and was the guy at the last go^see who was Italian and mean. Here he's American, living in Italy, and mean. Tyra explains that he was a plant at the gosee, and now we get to see them!

Shandi is up first. In her go?see, she graciously tells her Italian tormentors that she feels what she's capable of comes across best in her photos, and Janice applauds this. Giannini says that her shyness is going to be trouble, but Nigel jumps in, saying, "Yoanna's got a big can!" Oh, sorry. He actually says something else, for once. And it is to highlight Shadi's realitybabble "journey" that's brought her to this place. Awww! She's most improved. Her photo shoot is, according to Janice, "perfection personified." Look, miss, I'm just looking for the way to the liquid soaps aisle, please.

Janice expresses a desire to "slap that woman's face" when watching the rude lady at Mercedes's go5see, and Tyra tosses of a quick "and you'd be homeless and jobless" before returning to the matter at hand. They like Mercedes's pose at the photo shoot, but Eric objects to her "normal" face. Tyra is concerned that she's too "commercial." Giannini notes that she's "commercial." Commercials are all, "Mother!"

Camille's clip is...well, not flattering. They ask Camille why she walks like MC Skat Cat is about to appear right behind her and start singing of all things of who makes the money and who likes to smoke, and she tells them assuredly, "This is my signature walk and this is what's going to make me famous." She continues, arguing, "Actually, I got chosen out of 6,000 girls." Tyra throws her head down on the table and there is a general "oooooooh" around the room reminiscent of the one time in junior high someone told a teacher to shut up. Camille argues even then that she was chosen as best in show attitude-wise after the go()sees, but Tyra defends her upcoming decisions by telling her that this one was "separate." And her photos are shite, Tyra telling us that the photographer said she wasn't "in touch with her heart and soul." You know who else hates Camille? Psychics and America.

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America's Next Top Model

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