America's Next Top Model
The Girls Who Go To Milan

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Mercedes tells us of what they'll be judged on in the go-sees (a hyphen? In quotes? Wearing a bonnet and posing for pictures? There's no right way): "Appearance, confidence, personality, and professionalism." Meanwhile, the ladies split up to choose their drivers, and we're off. Camille tells her driver a story about how her mother met a guy when she came to visit Italy, and the fact that her driver seems to speak absolutely no English speaks highly for the future development of their relationship.

Yoanna is first up. The woman at D'Management asks her how long she's been modeling, takes a photo of her, and tells us that she's very "elegant" but that she is "too square." Shandi walks sexily for someone and gets a mondo blasé "yeeeeah" when she asks the woman if it went okay. Camille fixes her hair and tells us she put on her personality, and some guy notes her "strong attitude" in what I think was a good way. Mercedes tells her driver that she feels like she's in "an action movie," when in fact she's in Roman Holiday, which she should see because it's very cute and because it stars the adorable pixie-ish Hepburn and not the mean, crusty, more recently deceased one. Mercedes doesn't score big on the "classic elegance" of Milan. April looks like she let the international travel get the better of her bangs. Mercedes teaches a guy how to belly-dance.

And, this. Camille is first to enter a studio of a company named "Miroglio," where she discovers a woman named Liliana, who we're told is the casting director of a company called "Caractere." Sitting at a table near her is a man who is Italian. In Italy. Sounds crazy, you say? Just go with me. As soon as Camille enters, the two take issue with her. Sounds crazy, you say? Just go with me. Camille has to try something on, and they keep yelling at her to go more quickly. Liliana speaks only in Italian, and the other guy translates it. She asks Mercedes, "Why do you walk like that?" Shandi is going too slowly. She wants to know why Camille walks like that as well, and Camille shoots back, "This is my signature walk, and this is what's going to make me famous." They bark at Shandi for having no experience. They ask what April brings to the table through her pictures, and she's right on the case, opening her portfolio and offering words like "tranquility" and "sex appeal." Yoanna tells us, "The lady was tough, but I'm not gonna go cry in a corner or anything." That's right. You're going to cry right in the middle of the town square, in front of the pigeons, under the Duomo where the sound is best amplified to a nation that needs to understand your pain. But, later.

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America's Next Top Model

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