It's Week 2. The heels get higher, and the bitches get bitchier. The girls head back to high school for both their challenge and their photo shoot. First, Ms. J. gives them a walking lesson on the high-school track. The girls must march individually, and then in choreographed threesomes. And not that kind of threesome, as much as Natasha's mail-order husband was looking forward to it. Speaking of Natasha, her tenuous grasp on the English language comes to the forefront, as Ms. J.'s comment about her marching translates into her thinking that she looks like a Martian. The girls must take their newly learned skills as well as their choreographed threesome routine into the high-school gym, where they walk in a prom-themed runway show for an audience of high-school students. Fashion! While Sarah's dress goes by the wayside in the "ghetto fabulous" segment of the show and her boy-chest is exposed to impressionable teens, Brittany rocks the basketball court and wins the challenge. Meanwhile, Jaslene -- who is a bit of a braggart when it comes to her runway skills -- actually does the worst, sending her down the path of a mild nervous breakdown. The other girls don't have much tolerance for her pouting, and she and Felicia get into a bit of a tiff. The photo shoot sees the girls going back to high school and posing as high school clichés. Renee struggles as class clown, but of course thinks that she can do better than every other girl on every other shoot, and pouts about how unfair the whole situation is. Jaslene redeems herself by rocking her Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club weirdo shot, while Natasha has trouble understanding the concept of "teacher's pet," and poor, innocent Samantha struggles to be the class ho. Speaking of Samantha, her generally reserved demeanor is causing some problems for her in the house, and she feels both lonely and too polite for the rest of the crew, including the free-to-be-naked-at-all-times Jael. In the end, Samantha faces off against Natasha in the bottom two. And, as you might suspect, a season's worth of broken English is just too valuable a commodity to let go of so soon, and Samantha is sent back to Alabama.
Previously: some of the girls had trouble adjusting to Renee, while Renee concurrently had trouble not being a total wanker. C7 reject Jaslene made it into the final 13 and, despite looking like a heroin-addled transvestite, seriously rocked her photo shoot. In the end, it was Kathleen who faced the dubious distinction of being named too dumb to be America's Next Top Model (I know, right?) and was sent home. One dozen bitches remain!
Meanwhile, I love how the credits feature every past winner except for Adrianne. I mean, even Naima! That's pretty bad.
It is night, following elimination. Felicia says that she misses Kathleen, and that's the last we hear about her. I hope she's off somewhere participating in scientific studies for cash. Jaslene calls her mom, and tells her that their first shoot and all that followed was "the bomb." She interviews that she was called first at Panel, which feels good. She tells her mom about all the great positive feedback that she got at Panel, and then calls herself "fierce" and says that she's there for a reason. So that we may be entertained? Dance, model! Or, more appropriately: cry, model! She adds that she does her best when she's focused and "in the zone." She is already starting to annoy me.
Meanwhile, gentle music plays as we see Samantha lying on her bed. She says that she's pretty much a country girl, and that some of the other girls in the house are crazy. To wit, we see Jael and Whitney rubbing their boobs together. Hey, I just write down what I see. Samantha says that she keeps to herself when she's stressed. She likes to write in a notebook and express her feelings that way, or talk to her family members. We see her talking to her dad on the phone, and she cries and says she misses home. Her dad tells her to have fun, and never to forget who she is. She says that she'll never forget who she is. Samantha interviews that she doesn't fit in, and sees herself as being different from the other girls. And seriously, Samantha, take it from me -- that is a very good thing. However, she says that she still wants to be on the cover of a magazine, or on the catwalk. Samantha is so nice and normal. I just want to hug her and take her away from all of this jiggly madness.
Tyra Mail! "Babies learn how to do it. Can you?" Oh, don't tell me that Tyra is going to take the whole "mama" thing so far that she actually tries to breastfeed the cast. The girls think that it means something about walking. Boy, are they going to be surprised!