America's Next Top Model
The Girls Who Go To Prom

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
The Girl Who Is Way Too Nice

The first group goes. Renee, of course, thinks that she did great, even though she's not sure about her team. Sarah has to walk with Jael and Natasha. She interviews that she thinks it's easier to walk in heels, because you have more elegance. We see her walk out of her shoe and have to bend down, pick it up, and hop to put it back on. Even the editors hate her! Jaslene interviews that when she sees the other girls walk, it's funny to her. Yeah, we know, you're great. She goes with her group, and interviews that she didn't feel like she needed to practice, because she's the best once she gets out there. A bell rings, and Ms. J. tells the girls to get into the gym for their final exam.

Once they're there, the girls meet fashion show producer Roy Campbell. He's also done runway events for Tyra Banks, who is his good friend. Roy tells the girls that their challenge for the week will be to compete in a real, live fashion show. Yes, in the gym. And the theme is "the prom." As Roy says these words, out walks Ms. J. in a lavender taffeta creation. And I know I reference Paris Is Burning just about every recap, but I don't know how they didn't set this whole segment to "Got To Be Real." Natasha doesn't know dick about prom, because she's from Russia. I have a feeling that "Natasha doesn't know dick about ________, because she's from Russia," might be a theme of the season. Ms. J. drops the bomb that the girls will have to do their not so challenging choreography from earlier, and Roy drops the bomb that their audience will be students from the school. And Anna Wintour. There will be three categories of fashion: modern contemporary prom, '80s, and "ghetto fabulous." Seriously, they need to rename this America's Next Top Drag Ball Participant. I await the Dynasty-themed runway show in Episode 6.

The girls get their hair and makeup done backstage. And I guess, in this case, "backstage" is, like, where the lunch ladies hang out. Natasha tells Jael that she needs to walk faster, and Jael counters that Natasha should focus on not stepping on her dress. Jael interviews that she thinks it's hysterical how seriously everyone is taking everything. She's probably going to get flak for that attitude at Panel one of these days, but girl has a point. Roy tells the girls that there will be a great prize for the winner of this challenge. A free dinner at Denny's! On your birthday!

The audience files in. And seriously, they can't even fill up the auditorium at the school where they're holding this event. How do they expect their winner to conquer Milan? The girls discuss their choreography. Renee says that Jaslene is full of herself. She then adds that this is Renee's time to shine. What one has to do with the other, I don't know. Cassandra tries to make sure Jaslene knows what she's doing, since she'll be in a different position. Jaslene, of course, thinks she knows everything. She says that the rest of the bitches talk a good game, but asks if they can play the game. Maybe if the game is, like, Connect 4 or Hungry Hungry Hippos. Jaslene says that she has her signature walk down pat. Cassandra asks her if she should walk with her hands on her hips the whole time, and Jaslene just says, "Whatever you want," in Spanish. It would be awesome if Cassandra had said, "I want to punch you in the face," and then done so. Commercials.

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America's Next Top Model




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