America's Next Top Model
The Girls Who Go To Prom

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The Girl Who Is Way Too Nice

When we return, the show begins! Roy is the emcee. He says that Sarah had great posture and form, which helped her along. Renee is, of course, nervous and intent on showing everyone that she's the best. Felicia looks really cute in promwear. Diana looks super-uncomfortable. Jaslene says that she got an adrenaline rush like there was "fire running" behind her. Oh, if only.

We begin the '80s round. Roy says that Natasha wasn't cognizant of the other girls on the runway, and generally was just not quite right. Samantha is very pretty, according to Roy, but needs more attitude. Renee was bland and average in terms of standing out from the other girls, but she did connect with the audience. Brittany tells us that she was acting and playing the part while trying to hit her marks.

And then it's time for everyone's favorite genre of prom dresses: ghetto fabulous. Sarah, Natasha, and Jael are first out, and Sarah's drapey low-cut dress apparently needs a little double-stick tape. As Jael says, her chest "decided to be exposed." Of course Jael says that she thought that was very liberating for Sarah, and was glad that Jael got to experience that next to her. The crowd goes wild. Sarah says that she just kept going, because she wasn't going to let something like that ruin her runway walk. And, I mean, it's not like she really has any boobs to speak of anyway.

Samantha says that her ghetto fabulous dress needed to be burned, and was way too short. She wouldn't have been allowed to go to prom in that dress. Aw, she's such a good girl. Whitney and Felicia bump into each other, and I don't know whose fault it is. Roy says that Brittany has a very strong runway look, and gets the catwalk. I think she looks like she has cerebral palsy, but to each his own. Jaslene and Diana crash into each other. Roy says that Jaslene was the one who really didn't seem to get the choreography or get where everyone else was. Nor did she seem to care. Yeah, that sounds about right. Renee and Dionne bump into each other next which is, of course, all Dionne's fault. Renee chides the other girls for their lack of experience. To which I say...well, I was going to say, "HA," but I decided at the last minute to change it to "Shut up, Renee."

Roy gives the girls their critiques. He says that Natasha wasn't cognizant of where the other girls were. Samantha needed a little hip-hop attitude, especially for the ghetto fabulous portion of the show. Sarah should have covered her boobies, given that she was in front of an audience of underage, horny teens. Renee tended to lag behind the other girls. Renee interviews that she doesn't really care about her critique. The crowd was loving her, so she thinks she did "really good [sic]." Wow, way to go, you impressed said audience of horny, underage teens. You're a star. Brittany had the best stage presence and always managed to get back on track when she slipped up. Then Roy turns to Jaslene. She has a big old smile on her face, and is likely expecting praise. Instead, Roy says that she seemed lost on the runway and made a lot of mistakes. Jaslene interviews that she was in shock. She was feeling good about herself and knows that she did well. Delusion is a powerful force. So, as we can see by Renee's smirk, is bitchery. Renee tells us that Jaslene was the worst one out there, and is really upset.

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America's Next Top Model

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