And then who should come in but Tyra. Her weave is less gigantic, and kind of feathered around her face. She welcomes the girls to L.A. In an interview, Tiffany says, "Tyra's beautiful. I mean, she's breathtaking. I don't like to blow my own horn, but she kind of reminds me of me." Just...wow. Tyra explains to the girls why they are in L.A. instead of fashion capital of the world New York. None of it is the truth, but what can I say. She tells them that she wanted to show them a different side of the fashion world, and that she got her start in L.A. when her mom took pictures of her in their back yard. So Tyra's mom is going to photograph all the girls in her back yard? That's the secret to becoming a top model? I wish I had taken a trip out there as a youth. We see photos of a teenaged Tyra. She tells the girls that a lot of agencies turned her down when she started out, and that they will face a lot of rejection in the competition. And why not start that cycle of rejection and despair in the place of her birth, which also happens to be the locale of her new talk show. Oops, did I just say that? Noelle says, "I mean, you see Tyra, and you think boobs and lingerie. And she's got a brain. I mean, who woulda thought?" Trust me, Noelle, you don't want to know what else that weave is hiding.

The girls wake up the following morning. Keenyah brushes her teeth and Brandy, pulling at her giant red 'fro, complains that it is in knots. She says, "I think I'm gonna need a broom when I get through." To fly away on? Because I'd endorse that plan. She interviews, "Yesterday, the man messed up my hair teasing it, and I look like a fool right now." As opposed to how svelte and sophisticated she looked before when the giant red 'fro was approximately one millimeter smaller. She tells Keenyah that she looks like a junkie on the street begging for some change. Seriously, has this girl never looked in a mirror before? Keenyah, in an irony-free voice, says that she is much more open than Brandy and doesn't care if they want to shave her head bald. "You've gotta be easy to work with," she says. Foreshadowing jumps into the shot and moons us. Brandy says that she is sick of her raggedy weave. I am sick of her raggedy face.

As a few of the girls work out on stationary bikes, Miss J. Alexander enters the pad wearing a shirt that reads, "Please don't feed the models." Tiffany interviews that she loves J. Me too! We get a short clip of J. in some of his more memorable runway demonstration outfits. He tells the girls that it's time for "weights and measures," and to find out who's toned, who's considered fat, and who thinks she's fat. At this Brita says, "I'm fat," and looks nervous. She interviews that she's going through an insecure phase because she's gained weight recently. J. touches her bottom and notes that it jiggles a bit. We see the stats of some of the girls: Kahlen is 5'8" and 114 pounds. Jay tells Keenyah that she's shaped like a boy minus the breasts. Michelle has some junk in the trunk, and Tiffany pinches her buns. J. knocks Christina in the head with the height measure before noting that she's 5'10" and 118 pounds (and 8 of those are in head lice alone). Brandy is 5'8" and 122 pounds. Lluvy is 5'8" and 123 pounds. Noelle is 5'7" and 124 pounds. Rebecca is 5'10" and 116 pounds. Tatiana is 5'7" and 123 pounds. Tiffany is 5'10 and 116 pounds. and Brita is 5'8.5" and 138 pounds. D'oh! Brita says she's gained weight because she's been sick, which Miss J. doesn't buy. Brita assures J. that, by the end of the process, she will lose the weight. Rebecca interviews that Brita is just a bit bigger than the rest of the girls, and that she hopes that the weigh-in didn't make Brita self-conscious, because Brita is beautiful. And I never expected this, but I'm kind of feeling Rebecca. But not literally, because she would lacerate me with her hipbones.