America's Next Top Model
The Girls Who Hate Their Makeovers

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Send In The Clowns

Kahlen says that she's petrified as we see Janice talking to her. Kahlen thinks that Janice is very scary, and says that she wanted to ask, "Are you going to make me cry, and how many times?" Many, many times, if we're lucky. ["But how would she know that Janice might make her cry if she's never seen the show? I call bullshit." -- Wing Chun] On the set of the shoot, Jay tells Kahlen not to be nervous, and that she has a fierce little walk and he wants to see "that model" come out. And by "that model," we all know he means Carmen Kass. Kahlen poses well, and Jay says that she has no idea how good she is. Janice asks Rebecca where she's from, and Rebecca says Minnesota. Janice says plainly, "I was in rehab there once." "Really? Hazelton?" asks Rebecca. "Nah, I was in St. Mary's. I did a nice stint there back in the '80s." I'm sorry, but Janice is the greatest. She also looks really pretty. I think her new face is finally settling. Rebecca poses, and Nigel says that she has a Twiggy-esque feel about her. Nigel is impressed, and I must say that I am too.

Keenyah is next, and Nigel tells her to put her butt half on and half off of the sidewalk where she's sitting. "There's nothing comfortable about fashion," he says. He thinks that Keenyah looks unbelievable. She says that, as a photographer, Nigel knows what he likes, and that it makes her feel like she's doing something good. Keenyah, do yourself a favor and take a lesson from Kelle and her snout: if you like feeling good, don't go anywhere near Jay Manuel. Next is Lluvy, who says, "Yeah, I think I can work the alien look a little bit," and then grimaces. "Alien look" is like "beauty shot" to Lluvy. Also, she is wearing fishnet stockings over her face. Jay says that Lluvy only has one expression, and that she needs to give them "one step up from blah."

Brittany climbs up onto a car to pose. She says that her knees were sweaty from the heat, and that she kept falling off of the car. I can't believe I just wrote that sentence. It sounds so gross. She gives herself a big "Awesome!" after her shoot. When she talks, she sounds like a real dumb-ass.

Janice gets really close behind Michelle and asks, "Do you have any questions for me? The bitch judge?" Michelle laughs and tells Janice that she thinks she'll be one of her favorite judges. I bet Michelle is under the impression that she could take Janice in a fight. Michelle is mistaken. Jay asks Michelle to tell Nigel what she does, and Michelle tells him that she wrestles. Nigel tells us that there's "an unusual side to Michelle." That side is the front. He adds that Michelle can go "quite androgynous-looking." And that is some polite British phrasing, right there.

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America's Next Top Model

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