America's Next Top Model
The Girls Who Hate Their Makeovers

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Send In The Clowns

And then, Tyra says, "Miss Brandy, we have thought about you. And we decided, girl, that you are fierce. And we ain't doing nothing to you." Apparently "clown" is the new "good." Brandy interviews that she is pissed off, because she wanted a drastic change. Her exact quote is, "I'm pissed off...I wanted a drastic change so bad." Remember this for later. ["She may have also wanted a drastic change because, traditionally, the girl who gets the least radical makeover is next to go." -- Wing Chun]

The girls twitter and prepare for their makeovers. Naima jokes that now that she's going blonde she'll have an excuse to be stupid. Brandy, who is reading a magazine, acts pissy. She says that her feelings are hurt because she's not getting a new look. She asks J. to pick through her nasty, gnarled weave, and it looks for all the world like he's doing a lice check. Tyra tells her that they will remove the horrid weave and make her hair really short, but still bright. They seem to be amused by Brandy. For now. She interviews that she's very happy about the impending change. The stylist cuts off the 'fro, and it looks like Ronald McDonald spontaneously combusted, leaving only his flame-retardant wig behind. The other girls note that Brandy was cranky.

Kahlen is the first done, and her hair kind of looks the same but longer, and with blunt bangs. J. puts her in front of a white screen and tells her to pose topless for her shot. But with hands covering her naughty bits, of course. Kahlen interviews that she's not comfortable being nude, but expected that it would be part of the process. Tatiana likes her dark hair and feels confident about her performance in the photo shoot. Christina likes her darker hair, which she calls "sexy" and "more playful." Brita -- who basically has had her hair curled with a curling iron -- says that she's happy not to have had a drastic change, because her current look works best for her. Keenyah says that she's had sewn-in weaves before, but never one quite as painful as the one she's having now. And for the record, she has an African-American stylist. Keenyah thinks that she's taking it like a pro.

Then, more Brandy. Dude, we're thirty-five minutes into the second episode of the season and I'm already tired of her. Brandy starts complaining that she's bald. Noelle tells her that she still looks sexy. Noelle -- who basically has just had her hair blown straight -- says that her new look is funky, edgy, and sexy. An in-process Michelle looks freaking terrifying. She has a mess of straw-blonde frizz floating away from her head, with some blue stuff on her roots. She says the stylists warned that it would hurt, but that the pain was vicious. Michelle starts shaking as they rinse the peroxide from her hair, and whimpers a little. Tiffany says that Michelle doesn't complain about anything, which she loves. Brandy gives a blank look. Sarah loves her new cut, and Lluvy says that Sarah's the hottest Peter Pan ever. Given that her competition includes Sandy Duncan, I don't think that's much of a feat. She looked a lot better before. Naima would have chosen a more extreme color herself, but thinks that the honey blonde turned out perfect. Rebecca has always had the same look, and loves her change. Michelle -- who looks INSANE -- says that they put her through hell, but that she loves her look. She thinks that her hair will change her for the better, because she feels more confident. She still knows all there is to know about the crying game, though.

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America's Next Top Model

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