Same As It Ever Was
As you ponder that question, the girls get a mere five minutes to shop as Charlie and Sutan bark either biting remarks or encouragement. As they do this, they of course trash the store. Christian tells us that she was a model before getting on this show, so had everything they asked for. Well, good, she can take it into obscurity with her. Caridee tells us that shopping was a huge success, and that she got everything she wanted and needed.
But you know what she didn't need? Melrose's bossy behavior back at the house. Remember that? Melrose makes dinner but says that she isn't going to clean the dishes, and Christian notes that people aren't feeling her whole "mother of the house" vibe. And then, there is the beautiful relationship that sprouted between Monique and Melrose. Monique sports a pair of butterfly wings and a giant sparkly microphone (or perhaps a vibrator, because you know that Monique of all people would have a gold sequined vibrator) and mocks the fact that Melrose talks all the time, as well as the way that Melrose tells everyone what to do, based on the notion that what she does/wears/uses is the best. Apparently Melrose is a fan of silk panties. More than I wanted to know, there, friends. This whole segment would probably be funnier if Monique weren't 100% batshit crazy. She interviews that she can't stand Melrose. Then Melrose is in the closet doing something and Monique totally says, "Die, bitch, die." Melrose, who is within earshot, is shocked. She says that Monique is hating on herself, and that's the problem. Monique clarifies that no, she's actually hating on Melrose. Would these two lovebirds get a room, already?
The girls next had that shoot about model stereotypes. And, because the editors got mixed up and thought this was a Tyra's-most-embarrassing-moments montage, we see her trying to act over the top like a super diva model. We don't see her fall, though, which was totally the best part of that bit. Oy. Eugena is a black girl who wants to be white, and gets kudos from Jay. Caridee is genius, but maybe too zany. Christian as a model turned actress is a brokedown Tyra Banks. And Melrose, as the model who won't get out of bed for $10,000 a day, gives some rank attitude, which impresses no one. Jay hates her. She lands in the bottom two with Christian at Panel. Tyra encourages Christian to be a bad actress. That is advice she herself has certainly taken to heart. Christian goes home, even though she was really pretty. Both she and Melrose are heaving and crying. Christian says that she wishes she could turn back time. She wishes she could find a way. Then she'd take back those words that hurt you, and you'd stay. Give her a second chance, will you? Because Tyra won't.