MONDO EXTRAS

Same As It Ever Was

by Potes November 6, 2006 10:00 PM
America's Next Top Model

The next day, the girls' correspondent skills were put to the test as they interviewed Janice Dickinson on the red carpet. Caridee calls her overpungent. A.J. forgets her question, and Jaeda gets tongue tied and causes Janice to steal her microphone. Melrose, however, was awesome, and got another challenge victory, which made everyone hate her even more.

Tyra visited the house again for some soul-searching one-on-ones. Melrose thinks that the other girls are intimidated by her, although she notes that her air of overconfidence might push people away. She's as cold as ice! She'll never take advice! And someday she'll pay the price, I know! Caridee tells Tyra about suffering the horrors of psoriasis. Good times.

At the week's photo shoot, the girls pose as celebrity couples. With themselves! So, like, Caridee played both Angelina and Brad, Eugena was Jay-Z and Beyonce, etc. But A.J. was not enjoying being J. Lo and Marc Anthony. In an interview, she asks how she's supposed to be, "Latino...or Mexican, or whatever." I can see how being a cannibal would be a lot easier than being Latino. Playing Mexican or whatever just seems so OUT THERE. Jaeda made a great Bobby Brown, but an iffy Whitney. (And speaking of, how excited are you that Whitney is getting her shit together? Seriously, it could be the Greatest Comeback Ever. Go, Whitney! Shred the receipts! But I digress.) Back in Top Model Land, Jaeda stages a judging of her own. I have to say, she makes a pretty good Tyra. The trick is sounding like a mildly disabled robot. The twins are in Jaeda's bottom two, and her speech is so funny. She says, "So you know both of you...look very much alike. But each of you has your own personality." HA! In the middle of this tense moment, Caridee totally farts. Awesome. In the mock-elimination, Michelle gets chosen. Hmmm, foreshadowing?

At the real Panel, Jaeda still doesn't get raves, and lands in the bottom two for the third time. But an indifferent A.J. is the one to go, and that seems totally okay with her. She interviews that she came into this competition not knowing what to do with her life, and she hopes that it's given her some direction that modeling is at least an option for her future. I'm down with that.

The next photo shoot involved Tyra behind the lens, and the girls wearing some freaky contacts. Scary/sexy was the theme. Tyra says that she wants angry and evil, but with sex appeal. Kind of like Katie Couric. What? She's hot. We get to see all of these photos, because Tyra is the best. Do you get it? THE BEST. The girls then got schooled in subtle sexiness by burlesque sensation Dita Von Teese. While Melrose and Caridee were comfortable being sexy, others had some problems working it. These included Michelle, who in all fairness had a baseball bat to work with, and virginal, pure Brooke, whose only prop was her hymen. The head of Elite Models had the girls over for a dinner party, in which the girls provided the entertainment by walking down the table like it was a runway. I do not like to eat with shoes near my food, so I don't know how the guests of that party did it. Amanda stumbled a little, and Anchal struggled with the fact that her body is more suited for swimwear than runway. In the end, it was Melrose who scored yet another challenge victory, thus really sealing the hate of the other girls. And Anchal still can't get over the fact that she's fatter than she used to be. Ain't we all, sister. Caridee offers the helpful advice that Anchal should stop, "Fryin' up that sausage." But sausage is so delicious!

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