America's Next Top Model
The Girls Who Made It This Far

Episode Report Card
Potes: B- | Grade It Now!
Same As It Ever Was

Megan asks Monique why she's such a crazy bitch, but in a really diplomatic way. Michelle tells her that she's ridiculous, and ends up saying, "Who's not sharing, bitch?" Which leads to Monique's reply of, "WHERE ARE MY DORITOOOOS?" It's like the, "Steeeellllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" of the new generation. We see the chip bag carcasses in the trash. And then it is mild-mannered Amanda who finally goes off on Monique, opening all of the cabinet doors and yelling, "There's food there! There's food there!" and pointing out that Monique isn't going to starve. Everyone wonders why Monique is so deranged. Let this be a lesson to all the kids at home who call their siblings, "Blackula": you are creating a total psycho.

The photo shoot for the week entailed crazy wigs from street hair shows. The girls all looked like exotic, drag queen birds. Could you imagine if birds went in drag? It would be, like, a blue jay wearing big peacock feathers. Some girls did well, but others, like Megan and Jaeda, got overwhelmed by their hair with moving parts. What we never saw was Megg having a major meltdown. Oh no! She is totally bawling after Jay gives her some negative feedback, and tells him that, like the hair of Samson, it is heavy metal music that gives her her strength. The silent set is like Delilah, and Megg is like a shell of her former self. How can you work it without the Crüe, man???? Jay is patient with her, but you can tell that inside he's like, "...Riiiiight." Megg tells us that she never cries, but here she feels so vulnerable. And then she says to some of the other girls, "I just want to play some bongos, man." I do hope that one day Megg finds the drumming circle of her dreams and can put all this trauma behind her.

And then, the girls formed a band! Megg made bongos out of a cardboard box. A.J. calls them the ghetto bongos. Megg tells us that she felt really crappy, but once she made bongos, her worries just melted away. A.J. plays the guitar and sings a song about Megg and how awesome she is, and then a song about how there are bitches in the house. I hear this same kind of situated inspired Paul Simon in some of his early work. Megg confessionalizes that they have enough drama going on, and someone has to bring the peace. Can we get Kofi Annan in there? Oh wait, she means herself. Peace, love, rock 'n' roll, and madness, baby! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

And then it was time for Panel, and Tyra rejoiced in being able to tell Jaeda that she's no longer the prettiest girl in school. Tyra is totally working out her Naomi Campbell issues on Jaeda. But it was cute Megan who got sent home. Sad times, until we forgot about her a minute later.

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America's Next Top Model




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