America's Next Top Model
The Girls Who Made It This Far

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Same As It Ever Was

Then, in Week Six, the girls did yoga. And then yoga instructor Shirley Archer put a mask on them and told them to dance. Wow, do they look like some rhythmless crackers. Back at the house, Michelle really opened up and told the others that she might be gay. Brooke is scandalized, and Eugena notes that Michelle might not have come out entirely, but she's straddling the fence. And what better time than on the eve of an outing to meet up with Mark Steines of Entertainment Tonight to learn some techniques for being a ball-sucking correspondent. Melrose, of course, was a natural. Brooke sounded too rehearsed, and A.J. was just clueless.

And speaking of A.J., she's having some difficulty. In the hot tub, she tells some of the other girls that she's having mixed feelings about accepting her fate as a person in the house, and about doing well in the competition. It fills her with an overwhelming depression, and she says that it's like something broke and she can't fix it. You know that in her heart A.J. thinks that this is one lame-ass reality show competition. Finally, someone with some sense! Caridee says that A.J. is hard to read because she has so many mood swings and a dark side. Melrose is sick of A.J.'s complaining and her pessimistic view of life. Well, A.J.'s pessimistic view of life is sick of you too, Melrose.

The next day, the girls' correspondent skills were put to the test as they interviewed Janice Dickinson on the red carpet. Caridee calls her overpungent. A.J. forgets her question, and Jaeda gets tongue tied and causes Janice to steal her microphone. Melrose, however, was awesome, and got another challenge victory, which made everyone hate her even more.

Tyra visited the house again for some soul-searching one-on-ones. Melrose thinks that the other girls are intimidated by her, although she notes that her air of overconfidence might push people away. She's as cold as ice! She'll never take advice! And someday she'll pay the price, I know! Caridee tells Tyra about suffering the horrors of psoriasis. Good times.

At the week's photo shoot, the girls pose as celebrity couples. With themselves! So, like, Caridee played both Angelina and Brad, Eugena was Jay-Z and Beyonce, etc. But A.J. was not enjoying being J. Lo and Marc Anthony. In an interview, she asks how she's supposed to be, "Latino...or Mexican, or whatever." I can see how being a cannibal would be a lot easier than being Latino. Playing Mexican or whatever just seems so OUT THERE. Jaeda made a great Bobby Brown, but an iffy Whitney. (And speaking of, how excited are you that Whitney is getting her shit together? Seriously, it could be the Greatest Comeback Ever. Go, Whitney! Shred the receipts! But I digress.) Back in Top Model Land, Jaeda stages a judging of her own. I have to say, she makes a pretty good Tyra. The trick is sounding like a mildly disabled robot. The twins are in Jaeda's bottom two, and her speech is so funny. She says, "So you know both of you...look very much alike. But each of you has your own personality." HA! In the middle of this tense moment, Caridee totally farts. Awesome. In the mock-elimination, Michelle gets chosen. Hmmm, foreshadowing?

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America's Next Top Model

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