So we've come to that point in America's Next Top Model cycle effing twenty where it's time to reflect on where we've been, so that we can waste more time reviewing the time that we have thus far wasted. Like a circle in a circle, like a wheel within a wheel… it's the clip show! Tyra starts off by asking how many industries we can think of where women make more than men. Modeling is at the top of the list. Stripping a close second. Tyra focused on women for many a cycle, but this year she wanted to try her hand at reverse gender equality, and also give herself some muscle-flexing eye candy to drool over. There's no looking back, she says! Or maybe there is. Now. In this clip show. Basically, we're going to get all kinds of footage of Phil jumping over shit. There are worse ways to spend an hour, I'd say.
Cycle 20 started off with rare and tender meat as it for guys who could hold their own with the wannabe model women. And how did the dude in the fur vest and translucent cape not make it on the show? Missed opportunities! Jeremy told us that he's a guy-guy who watches football, and then 35 semi-finalists were brought to L.A. to walk in a masquerade fashion show that involved smooching. Because really: none of this season is about modeling. It's more like The Real World with hair and makeup professionals. Some of the masquerade show kisses were pretty hot, though Chris H. had to settle for an awkward peck on the cheek with one of his ménage a trois partners. And then there's Marvin. He came in at #10 on the newfound and potentially ill-advised list of top flirty moments of the cycle. He chose Hayley to walk with him down the runway in the masquerade show, and fell instantly in love with her (as he is wont to do), eventually winding up with a lipstick Hitler moustache.
The casting interviews were full of weirdos, per usual, and primary among them was Phil. He had shoes that were at least 65% made out of duct tape, because he is and will always be a staunch character. Oh, and then there was transgender Virgg! Virgg was inspired by previous Top Model contestant Isis, and proved herself to be perhaps the sweetest human in all of history. But why linger on something meaningful when we can cut to contestants having a motherfucking walk-off backstage? Cory gives some drag ball commentary throughout, and gets to play Tyra in the panel, dropping an f-bomb in the process. The real Tyra voices over that she never uses such language. Instead, when she get worked up she just screams, "I have never in my life yelled at a girl like this!" Because she cares.