America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: A- | 1 USERS: A+
Honk If You Love Honkies!

And hey! Speaking of racists, it's Whitney's My Life As a Cover Girl! Whitney tells us that she wouldn't be where she is without where she came from. Okay, just forget the syntactical issues and let's go with it. Whitney's family is so important to her. Just like her best black friend is! Remember that? Whitney especially loves her mom, who told her that if you're beautiful on the inside, you will radiate beauty on the outside. That's a good bit of advice, but I don't see how it relates, since I still think Whitney's a bit of a wanker on the inside. Anyway, Whitney is happy to have made her family proud! P.S.: Buy Wetslicks!

When we return, Hannah is getting some token white sympathy on the Honky Porch. McKey says that she feels bad for Hannah, because Hannah walked into a trap. Hannah says that if their whole prerogative was to hurt her or made her cry, they got her. McKey interviews that Hannah is the most misunderstood girl in the house, and even if people think that she wants to run away, she's just going to keep being Hannah. As if to prove her point, Hannah keeps being Hannah and says, and I quote, "That's like, like gang rape. That's like gang violence. Like, seriously, it's inappropriate." Almost as inappropriate as comparing someone verbally confronting you to GANG RAPE. Any sympathy she built up with all those tears is totally gone now. Put that on a billboard that you can see in any state except for Alaska and smoke it.

The girls head off to a giant field somewhere, and emerge from their eco-bus to find a giant hot-air balloon containing Mr. Jay! He's going back home to live with his people in Munchkinland! I'm so happy he's finally been able to arrange the transportation. Jay tells the girls that this week they all learned about the unobvious pose, and adds that fashion sometimes takes you to unobvious places. Such as -- you guessed it -- a hot air balloon. The girls will not be inside of the hot air balloon. Rather, they'll be on a ladder hanging from its basket. I'm sure they'll have some sort of dumb safety thing underneath so no one plummets to her death. Darn.

The girls head into hair and makeup. Isis says that she has to make sure she has strong faces with strong poses. As opposed to all the other weeks, when she was trying to look like a fart-faced wet noodle. Jay introduces the girls to photographer Mike Ruiz, who did the superhero shoot in Cycle 5. Mike tells the girls that today they have to give a lot of drama. Girl, if you want to see drama, you go take pictures at a house meeting, okay? That would be the "gang rape" photo shoot. Nikeysha says that she really needs to do well, which I'm sure means that she'll be terrible. Meanwhile, Hannah sulks in the hair chair and thinks about how much she relates to Jodie Foster's character in The Accused.

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America's Next Top Model




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