America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: A- | 1 USERS: A+
Honk If You Love Honkies!

Lauren Brie is the first to head to the ladder, and we hear some people give lip service to the fact that it's always safety first. This is relevant to the situation at hand, as there is apparently quite a bit of wind and the balloon is flying around like crazy. Lauren Brie admits to getting a little nervous. Luckily (for the girls, not for the viewing audience), Jay decides to recreate the scene by hanging the ladder from a crane. For the final photo, they'll put together a digital composite of the ladder hanging from the hot air balloon. In any case, Lauren Brie is awesome. Jay loves what she's doing, and says that it's a Dior ad. She really knows how to flip herself around that ladder!

Elina is up next, and Jay tells her to bring variety. Elina is also so good that she makes Jay bust into orgasm noises -- TWICE! He thinks that she looks like a goddess in the sky, and also like Angelina Jolie. I have to agree that she looks pretty fierce. And then we take a Hannah break. She explains that last night she was accused of being racist, which was humiliating. Today, however, she's over it. If people feel like they need to keep talking about it, she says, it's their issue. And apparently, people do feel the need to keep talking about it as Brittany and her crew again state that Hannah needs to learn to treat people with respect. If she did, they wouldn't have to practically gang-rape her.

Back on the set, it's Analeigh's turn, and Jay instructs her to use the skater in her. However, Analeigh doesn't have an easy time figuring out how to work the ladder. Jay says that, for being the best poser, Analeigh's film is really bad. Since when is she the best poser? You learn all sorts of tidbits when you pay attention! Sheena hits the ladder next. Let's allow Jay to sum it up for us: "If you can hold onto the rungs without your arms or legs... there's a problem." He interviews that butt cheeks typically aren't the best thing to grab onto a ladder with. Now he tells me. I had a heck of a time getting high enough to shingle my roof this summer. He tells Sheena again that it's just a leeeeetle hoochie. Sheena was going for effortless. Effortlessly hoochie.

Isis is up next. Jay tells her to be mindful not to overthink, and also to be aware of her face. He interviews that Isis has the ability to give the strongest posing, but when she struggles, she forgets her face. She is not looking good. Nikeysha is up next, and a big gust of wind blows her dress right the heck up, exposing her underwear. Jay has to look away for a minute. Nikeysha confessionalizes that it takes a lot of arm strength to hold onto the ladder and, as we might have noticed, she's kind of skinny. She could slice a cantaloupe with that collarbone. Jay gives Nikeysha a little talk, and it doesn't sound good. She hopes that there's a good shot in there, because she surely needs some redemption, praise the Lord, hallelujah.

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America's Next Top Model




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