America's Next Top Model

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Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

The girls return. Tyra notes that this week's shoot was very controversial. She says that during her career, 98% of models smoked or had previously smoked. I'd like to see where she gets her statistics, personally. She's just making shit up all the time these days. Anyway, America's Next Top Model is taking a stand. This is a no-smoking cycle. Cigarettes are banned! Tyra brings up all the little girls who are looking up to the contestants. And, frankly, if she were that worried about all those little girls, she would have ended the show six seasons ago. I think it's a little ridiculous to ban smoking entirely, but I am not the Great and Powerful Tyra Banks, so what do I know? She tells them to get their last puffs in tonight, because tomorrow, the ban goes into effect.

Okay, now that the preaching is over, it's time for a bitch to go home, where she can smoke all she wants. The first name Tyra's going to call is...Heather! YAY! She sort of slowly steps forward, and Tyra tells her the judges are blown away by her unconventional looks. Oh, yay, again. Heather is followed by Lisa. HA! Suck it again, Bianca. Then Chantal, Sarah, Jenah, Saleisha, Ambreal, Victoria, Janet, Kimberly, and Bianca. This of course leaves Ebony and Mila. Ebony already has tears streaming down her face. Mila's eyes look glinty, but that could just be because a thought has come into her head for the first time in years and the force of it is stinging her eyes. Ebony gets a photo, which hopefully she will use to wipe the snot that's streaming down from her nose. Mila is still glinty, and Tyra gives her some encouraging words. Mila says she didn't think she was going to be the first to go home, and in fact she was pretty sure she was going to win. She tells us again that if you concentrate on the positive, the negative things just go away. This must work, because I concentrated really hard and Mila got kicked off the show first! Thanks for the tip, Mila!

Next week: Bianca gets stanker and calls Saleisha borderline plus-size. Also, ghosts?

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America's Next Top Model

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