America's Next Top Model

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Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

Bianca asks Lisa if there's anything she wants to call her out on. Lisa says she has nothing to say to her. A very teary Lisa tells us that America isn't perfect, and everybody goes through ups and downs, and if you're determined to make something out of yourself, you do what you have to do. And, I mean, cut the girl some slack. I'm sure Tyra will soon drag out the fact that Bianca's mother was a stripper or something. Jay comes backstage and tells the girls to go home, pull themselves together, and figure out how they're going to get along with each other.

Back at the house, a few girls sit in the hot tub. Lisa tells Bianca that before they go into judging (or, as she calls it, judgment, which leads to my fear that when the pearly gates open, Tyra will be standing there, not holding a photo of me in her hands), she wants to put their problems behind them. Bianca apologizes for what she said, adding that it was uncool. However, Bianca then interviews that she's very strategic, and that she apologized to Lisa not because she meant it, but because she wouldn't want what she said to come up in panel. It takes a very specific kind of strategery to then confess this in an interview, which I'm sure Tyra will NEVER see.

And now, it's time for some other girls to be mean to someone else. Chantal, walking around in her underwear, asks where Heather is. Saleisha notes that she's outside, and we see Heather sitting on their balcony and holding a stuffed monkey. Awww. Chantal interviews that Heather is in over her head, and isn't ready for the competition. She says that Heather lacks social skills, and that is going to hurt her in the competition. Chantal isn't really being mean here; I think she's trying to be objective about Heather surviving in a house full of bitches. Later, Heather is explaining Asperger's to some of the girls and taking questions. Mila asks, "So do you, like, see the world differently than, like...me?" If that's the definition of Asperger's, then count me among the afflicted. Heather says that people with Asperger's think differently, and don't pick up on social norms. Mila interviews that Heather seems weird from far away, but she's really open-minded and gives everyone a shot.

Saleisha, Bianca, and Janet then have a whole conversation about how Heather leaves her orange peels lying around. Janet lets us know in no uncertain terms that she's not picking up Heather's orange peels. Way to take a stand! Picking up someone's orange peels is so much grosser than, like, ripping out the hair from their ass and stuff. Bianca says that it's like Heather is on a three-second delay, which is actually kind of astute. As they talk on the balcony, it looks like Heather, who is SWEEPING THE FLOOR, BITCHES, hears them. She interviews tearfully, "I'm not gonna let this autism bring me down. Ah...this is going to be, ah, the thing that makes me stronger." I sure wish Marvita was there to slap some bitches on Heather's behalf. Commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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