Photo shoots! And I just have to quote Jay verbatim on this one: "You're only going to get five minutes to do your makeup and get into your metallic catsuits." I need at least seven just to get into my metallic catsuit every morning! And I have baby powder at my disposal. How will they ever do it? Samantha has done herself up in some weird robo-makeup, which might or might not work in her favor. Joslyn attempts to be sexy while posing on a silver sit-up ball. Brittany R. gets a little Vegas on everyone, while Analeigh is old-school Claudia Schiffer. Sheena balances herself on three balls and turns on the "Top Model-ness." Hannah grew up without electricity or running water. Elina knows how to use her hands. That's what she said! Isis has what it takes to be America's Next Top Model, and if the other girls don't know that, then fuck 'em. This includes you, Kacey.
Oh! And then we get a little featurette called "Top Models in Action." Did you know that Cycle 3's Toccara posed for a 14-page spread in the July 2008 all-black issue of Italian Vogue, shot by Steven Meisel? Holy shit! I had no idea! I thought she was languishing in Celebrity Fit Club hell. Toccara was on more pages of the issue than any other model, and looked mighty fierce. And to think we knew her when she kept a chicken carcass by her bed at night!
When we return, Alpha J., Beta Jay and Tyrabot assess the final 20's pictures. Analeigh looks like a star, and has the much-coveted natural wind in her hair. Nikeysha is cute, if really annoying. Susan is not as smart as Tyra. We GET it. Elina knows how to move her way around a set, says Jay, and Tyra adds that she's very intimidating. Brittany R. looks like she could be just about every ethnicity, which is a plus. Brittany S. has a natural pouty lip. Brittany B. has energy, which Miss J. likes. Lindsey reminds Miss J. of Cycle 10's Whitney, and do we really need another Whitney? Jay loves Marjorie's look, but would only cast her in European-type shows. Also, she's kind of a freak. Isis has beautiful eyes, according to Tyra. Jay thinks that she can for sure be a high-fashion model and turn heads, but there are prejudices out there that concern him. Samantha is cute and commercial. Joslyn can create a positive atmosphere on set. Kacey looks like a Barbie doll, except in her photos. Lauren Brie's face is like an angel, says Tyra, and Jay commends her for being able to see through all the ugliness. Hey, that was kind of mean! He's more of a camembert man himself, I guess. Clark needs some ugly pretty, because right now she's got pretty pretty, and pretty pretty is ugly ugly. Hey, look, I just report what happens, okay? Talk to Susan if you have comprehension questions. Hannah's robot pose does not get raves. Sheena has all the best qualities of a whole bunch of ethnicities all rolled into one, according to Miss J. And with that, it's time to beam fiercely and deliver some news.