America's Next Top Model

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Glaminate Me, Oh Fierce Tyrabot!

When we return, Alpha J., Beta Jay and Tyrabot assess the final 20's pictures. Analeigh looks like a star, and has the much-coveted natural wind in her hair. Nikeysha is cute, if really annoying. Susan is not as smart as Tyra. We GET it. Elina knows how to move her way around a set, says Jay, and Tyra adds that she's very intimidating. Brittany R. looks like she could be just about every ethnicity, which is a plus. Brittany S. has a natural pouty lip. Brittany B. has energy, which Miss J. likes. Lindsey reminds Miss J. of Cycle 10's Whitney, and do we really need another Whitney? Jay loves Marjorie's look, but would only cast her in European-type shows. Also, she's kind of a freak. Isis has beautiful eyes, according to Tyra. Jay thinks that she can for sure be a high-fashion model and turn heads, but there are prejudices out there that concern him. Samantha is cute and commercial. Joslyn can create a positive atmosphere on set. Kacey looks like a Barbie doll, except in her photos. Lauren Brie's face is like an angel, says Tyra, and Jay commends her for being able to see through all the ugliness. Hey, that was kind of mean! He's more of a camembert man himself, I guess. Clark needs some ugly pretty, because right now she's got pretty pretty, and pretty pretty is ugly ugly. Hey, look, I just report what happens, okay? Talk to Susan if you have comprehension questions. Hannah's robot pose does not get raves. Sheena has all the best qualities of a whole bunch of ethnicities all rolled into one, according to Miss J. And with that, it's time to beam fiercely and deliver some news.

The 20 semi-finalists stand before Tyra. The first girl to enter Cycle 11 is Sheena. Yay! Tyra congratulates her and she says, "Thank you, Mama." Next in is Analeigh, followed by Nikeysha, Marjorie, Samantha, Elina, all three Brittanys (which prompts Brittney B. to sniff / cry into her own lucky panties), Hannah, Lauren Brie, Isis, Clark, and Joslyn, because for Tyra embracing a delusional nutbag is like hugging a mirror.

This of course means that Kacey has to go back and cry to her non-white friends who aren't hanging out at the pool, and that we've eliminated the plus-sized slot without much ado. The final fourteen are exceptionally excited, and Hannah tries to convince us that there are no billboards in Alaska. All right, then, Nanook of the North. She's really fashioned those bear pelts into quite an ornate blouse. The entire group gives Tyra their fiercest pose and Sheena takes us out by saying, "I'm gonna show you, America, you're not ready for this yellow fever. One time for the Asians!"

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America's Next Top Model

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