It's the Top Model finale! And there are very few surprises. We follow the traditional format, with the final three first shooting a Cover Girl commercial and then an ad for some new sort of staining lip gunk. Aminat manages to be the most natural in the commercial and even incorporates a winning shoulder shrug but, per usual, she has no idea what to do with her face in a still photograph. Allison recoups well from her previous commercial debacle and does a fine, if not stellar, job talking in front of the camera. Her ad turns out great, and her lips provide a really lovely palate. And then there's Teyona. The bravado and confidence of the past several weeks comes to an abrupt halt as she has a total breakdown while shooting her commercial. She does, however, recover well enough to take a stunning photo for the ad. At judging, Aminat's run finally comes to an end as she is given the penultimate ax. At least she'll have the comfort of looking impossibly hot in her last few moments on the show.
Allison and Teyona, our final two, then compete in a swimwear fashion show for Rosa Cha, who is actually a little bald guy not named Rosa Cha. Brazil! Nuts! In their first pass, they have to wear giant wings and odd-sized top hats. Allison surprises the judges by not being absolutely horrible, while Teyona mostly lives up to relatively high expectations. On the second pass the girls have to add a little samba to the mix, and Allison impresses everyone by getting a little bit of groove on in response to dancing audience member Miss J. And then there's the third pass. The ladies don't actually walk the runway, but rather slither around on it while slathered in what appears to be motor oil. I guess it makes as much sense as "ghost brides." Teyona literally loses her weave in the process, so decides to use it as a prop. This tactic might have been more successful were it not for the one strand that remained connected to her head. Though it's a tight competition, things play out as predicted and Teyona is named America's Next Top Model, leaving Allison to go home and work on that nosebleed.
Previously on America's Next Top Model: Thirteen aspiring models came to New York City and began their journey toward becoming America's Next Top Model. Along the way there was gorgeousness and glamour. There were also glaring errors. And how! And, don't forget, Clay Aiken appeared in what was surely the seventh sign of the apocalypse. But three girls have survived it all, and tonight one of them will be named America's Next Top Model, spend about two weeks filming My Life as a Cover Girl commercials, and then fade into the ether before showing up on some sort of VH1 show with "celebrity" in the title. Will it be Aminat? No. No it will not. No matter how much we're told that her body is amazing. Will it be Allison, they shy girl from New Orleans who looks like an actual doll and might one day punch Tyra in the nose just for the fun of it? We can hope. Or will it be Teyona? Probably. She's taken good photos all along, even with her denture cream smile.
It is morning in Sao Paulo, and there's a Tyra Mail ready to greet the girls. It says, "Be on point tomorrow or you can kiss this competition goodbye. Love, Tyra." There is another brown envelope containing -- you guessed it -- scripts. Yes, everybody, they're doing Cover Girl commercials! I'd really advocate for them to change the format for the last episode and make the final three do something like, I don't know, cage fighting to determine who will go on to walk in the final runway show. But my dream is not to be. We get a quick shot of the so-called "script," which actually has eleven lines. And most of these aren't even full lines. There is a phrase in Portuguese, which means "read my lips." You know what's connected to the lips? The throat, and Aminat says there's pressure on hers right now. Because Teyona is trying to strangle her to ensure victory? No, friends, it's because she's the underdog and doesn't have room to mess up. She's prepared to know the script like the back of her hand. As the girls get ready for bed Teyona does a little "Easy, breezy, beautiful," dance. She's overwhelmed and excited to be part of the bottom three. As she and Aminat continue to clown, Allison tells us that she's more of a quiet one. That's why her weave has to be so loud. She adds that she's so close now that it would be a shame not to win, so she's planning on giving anything and everything that she's got to make sure she lands at number one.