America's Next Top Model

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Teyona Time
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on America's Next Top Model: Thirteen aspiring models came to New York City and began their journey toward becoming America's Next Top Model. Along the way there was gorgeousness and glamour. There were also glaring errors. And how! And, don't forget, Clay Aiken appeared in what was surely the seventh sign of the apocalypse. But three girls have survived it all, and tonight one of them will be named America's Next Top Model, spend about two weeks filming My Life as a Cover Girl commercials, and then fade into the ether before showing up on some sort of VH1 show with "celebrity" in the title. Will it be Aminat? No. No it will not. No matter how much we're told that her body is amazing. Will it be Allison, they shy girl from New Orleans who looks like an actual doll and might one day punch Tyra in the nose just for the fun of it? We can hope. Or will it be Teyona? Probably. She's taken good photos all along, even with her denture cream smile.

It is morning in Sao Paulo, and there's a Tyra Mail ready to greet the girls. It says, "Be on point tomorrow or you can kiss this competition goodbye. Love, Tyra." There is another brown envelope containing -- you guessed it -- scripts. Yes, everybody, they're doing Cover Girl commercials! I'd really advocate for them to change the format for the last episode and make the final three do something like, I don't know, cage fighting to determine who will go on to walk in the final runway show. But my dream is not to be. We get a quick shot of the so-called "script," which actually has eleven lines. And most of these aren't even full lines. There is a phrase in Portuguese, which means "read my lips." You know what's connected to the lips? The throat, and Aminat says there's pressure on hers right now. Because Teyona is trying to strangle her to ensure victory? No, friends, it's because she's the underdog and doesn't have room to mess up. She's prepared to know the script like the back of her hand. As the girls get ready for bed Teyona does a little "Easy, breezy, beautiful," dance. She's overwhelmed and excited to be part of the bottom three. As she and Aminat continue to clown, Allison tells us that she's more of a quiet one. That's why her weave has to be so loud. She adds that she's so close now that it would be a shame not to win, so she's planning on giving anything and everything that she's got to make sure she lands at number one.

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America's Next Top Model

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