And then. Backstage, the girls are slathered in what appears to be motor oil. Seriously, all over their bodies. Jay Manuel warns them not to touch him. Allison says this is the final thing in the competition, and though whatever happens, happens, she wants this more than anything. Jay tells the girls that this is the big finale, so he wants energy. Maybe that's energy grease? And then. Teyona and Allison walk out onto the runway with some similarly greased up male models. Well, "walk" isn't really what they do. Rather, they crawl out and then writhe around on the catwalk in their own grease. W.T. Fuck? Is it the anniversary of the Exxon Valdez oil spill? I mean, granted, it's no ghost brides. But we get absolutely no context for it, which I think indicates that they ran out of ideas and someone was like, "I don't know, there's a Lubio da Jiffica down the street." Allison interviews that she did feel sexy writing around on the floor, and says that it felt more like a live art installation than anything. Teyona starts writhing around so hard that she actually -- literally -- loses her weave! Ha! She decides to play with it, and so spins it around in the air. The one thing that prevents this from being fully successful is that there's one strand that's still attached to her head. It's pretty hilarious. And really, "I lost my weave" is a great saying. For example, "Girl, did you see The Real Housewives reunion? When Ramona told the Countess not to call her crazy eyes I almost lost my weave!" The girls writhe all the way to the end of the catwalk in their own greasy mess and blissfully the show has ended. They get a standing ovation for their efforts.
Backstage, Tyra tells both girls that they did really well. They're going to get cleaned up and re-weaved, and the next time they see Tyra one of them is going to be named America's Next Top Model. Allison interviews that this long journey has come to an end, and she feels like she's come a long way. It's true.
And then we're at panel! Both girls have to stand there in swimsuits. Let the bitches put on a wrap, at least. You know that room is cold, too, because Tyra's going through The Change. There are prizes: a contract with Elite Model Management; a six-page spread and cover of Seventeen; and a $100,000 contract with Cover Girl. The judges don't even get introduced! Sorry, suckers. They're there, though. And there is no guest judge -- suck it, Ann Shoket! It is then time for critique. On the runway, Allison surprised Miss J. by coming through. Nigel was also surprised at how good her walk was. Tyra was shocked and amazed. She thought Teyona was going to kill Allison, and that Allison was going to be a buckeyed mess. But she wasn't! Victory. Teyona was amazing, according to Miss J., but that was expected. Well, shit on her for living up to high expectations. Jerk. Nigel tells Teyona that she has a good walk, but the problem for him was her body language. Tyra adds that she felt robotic at times, but really came to life when she put her hands on her hips.













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