America's Next Top Model

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Top Model 10 Confidential

Madcap New York adventures continued as the girls got to partake in a Badgley Mischka show in Times Square. Lauren lumbered while Kimberly got a little moralistic about how stupid expensive clothes are. The first photo shoot focused on the theme of homelessness, which clearly results when you spend your rent money on a pair of Badgley Mischka shorts. Marvita was all, "Been there, done that." Anya excelled, while Atalya floundered in her "Little Tramp" top hat. At the week's judging, Kim revealed that she really had no interest in high fashion, which set off a chain reaction of gay gasps around the room. She went home of her own accord. Aimee was upset about Kim's decision, because she took the place of someone who really wanted to be there. Atalya also got the boot for the heinous crime of being pretty. Two down!

Oh, and then it's time to talk about Allison. After a few weeks of living together, the other girls noticed that Allison had some unusual habits, including pouring steak sauce on top of Jello. And then ingesting it. Let's allow Marvita to sum it up for us, shall we? "Allison is hella-crazy. And Allison does not eat. That girl be putting A1 on Jello. She's like, exercising. She need to come up off of that bullcrap and eat some food, 'cause she tripping." I think Marvita has a bright future in counseling, if she decides not to go the modeling route. Allison measures her hips, then interviews that she once had a problem with eating very, very little, and that soon became a habit, and then a downward spiral. She says it with the vacant eyes of the malnourished, which makes her use of the past tense questionable. Allison's clearly disordered behavior in the house pretty much makes Fatima look extra mean when she tells Allison how big she is. This never-before-seen clip has really depressed me. Can't we just get some kicky footage of drunk bitches making out?

And then there was Claire. Even though she was separated from her daughter, she felt their special connection daily, via a breast pump. The girls were kind of freaked out about it at first, and didn't necessarily love it when Claire spilled it all over the floor. Claire joked about how breast milk is going to be a hot commodity, and that she would sell hers for $50 a bottle. The poor cows of the world are like, "All we get is grass and cold man-hands. We need a union."

Makeovers were next! Tyra, desiring to be extra cruel to her models-in-training, made sure the new looks were a mystery even to the girls. And then, desiring to be extra cruel to her audience, she popped up in a little TV within our TV, called "Tyravision," for some superfluous narration. Sometimes I have nightmares that I am trapped inside of Tyravision but the rest of the world has the sound off and so can't hear my cries for help. Fatima's orange hair was swapped out for a long, luxurious weave, then replanted on Allison's head. Poor Stacy-Ann got the Buckwheat, but managed not to cry about it. Top Model builds character!

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America's Next Top Model

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