America's Next Top Model

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Top Model 10 Confidential

And then we get to spend a little time exploring how weird Dominique is. She gives the girls a lecture about how life is love, and it's all about living in the moment, and it's important to maintain who you are. And then she kind of compares herself to Martin Luther King, because she has a dream, too. I would say that MLK Jr. guffaws in his grave rather than rolls. She also wants to be like Donald Trump and, I quote, "I wanna be like freakin' Mother Teresa, but in a diva kind of way, okay?" There is a whole book of notable quotables to be found inside her mannish frame.

The girls next posed on a boat in Elle MacPherson's lingerie line. Elle gave some good advice to the girls, but Marvita, suffering from seasickness and, it appears, diarrhea, struggled not to throw up. In the end, though, the poo did not conquer her and she turned it out. Lauren was also surprisingly awesome and sexy. Allison and Dominique, however, struggled to stay afloat. Dominique looked like the bra girl in the Sears sale flyer, while Allison was both stiff and a pill. Allison was sent home, complaining of the injustice of the judges not liking her emotionless robotic personality. She took with her a consolation prize -- a lifetime supply of A1.

As we had surmised from the beginning, Amis was kind of nutty. She also had a tendency to break lamps. Maybe she just knew that dim lighting would benefit her in the competition. As it turned out, Amis was Marvita's dog. They bonded in their wackiness, and liked to dress up and pretend they were in a band. Whitney tells us that Amis is crazy, and if you tied her to a tree she'd argue with it. Well, trees so rarely get stimulating dialogue. Not that Amis would really be able to help with that, I guess. Amis argues with Whitney that gay love is just as good as, if not better, than regular love, and says that she hates herself and her boyfriend. She sings "Little Bunny Foo Foo." She acknowledges and embraces her weirdness, and that's what made her so marginally likeable.

Turns out, Amis wasn't the only weirdo of the cycle. Marvita really made herself at home, and apparently enjoyed walking around naked with, it seems, shaving cream on her legs. Or without shaving cream on her legs. The "naked" bit was really the part that she enjoyed. Stacy-Ann did not appear to be quite so fond of having Marvita's business in her face all the time. Prude! She does acknowledge that if she had a great body she'd probably want to show it off all the time too, and eventually Marvita reluctantly agrees to put on pants if it makes Stacy-Ann happy. I'm always on the side of putting on pants.

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America's Next Top Model

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