Jay then fellates Tyra for a while by talking about how the book is a New York Times best seller. The knife, it twists and turns. Tyra explains that Modelland is about a modeling school on the top of a mountain. Very few girls get to attend Modelland. And boy, are they mean to the Muggles! Er, "Nuggles." The main character is named "Tookie." Yes, Tookie. So, basically this whole thing is Harry Potter meets Facts of Life. We can only hope for a Cousin Jeri cameo. Tookie is of course inspired by Tyra's own teen self. She's gangly and awkward and calls herself a "forget-a-girl." When Tyra gets early onset Alzheimer's, this is exactly what it's going to sound like. Tyra tells us that Modelland is a fun, campy, fantastical romp through Tookie's journey of friendship and bullies and embracing her own unique beauty. Each model will represent different versions of Tookie in the motion editorial. Jay explains that the whole thing will be shot out of order, like a real movie, and that they'll be shooting for two days. The actual finished product will be shown both this week and next week in judging. Too much pork for just one fork, I guess.
The girls head back to hair and makeup, and Michael Cinco is there to outfit them in his crazed designs. The girls begin to shoot their first scene, which is labeled, "Chapter 20: Run and Gun." All of them are wearing yellow dresses with very long trains, and I think they're maybe racing to gain access to Modelland. It takes 20 chapters to get to that? Maybe Tyra did write this herself. The girls run and Lisa screams at the camera for a while, and then Tyra has to tell Angelea to run like a normal person and not like an idiot trying to look like she's running normally. It's very confusing. Each girl shoots a few scenes on her own, and we see Lisa's first. It is labeled, "Chapter 36: All Hail Creamy." I mean... I don't even know, you guys. I am so confuzzled that I can't even make a joke about it. I literally have no idea what's happening. Lisa has a baby doll in the "All Hail Creamy" scene, and Tyra says that Tookie's mother is obsessed with a doll named Bellissima. Oh, well that explains it. She's also deranged, but clearly not as deranged as Tyra Banks. Lisa kind of makes love to the baby with her face, then holds it out of a doorway like she's Michael Jackson on the balcony with Blanket. Jay says that Lisa knew how to work that doorway. So far in Greece, they've worked doorways and salad. It's a real resume building experience. Tyra tells us that Lisa has an intensity, and is super strong and super focused. Can you believe she actually might win this thing? It's, like, opposite day and shit. "Chapter 45: Day Opposite."