America's Next Top Model
Tyson Beckford

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Finally there's Lisa. She is wearing neon green spandex pants like whoa. Lisa's backbends were impressive, as was her running. ALT says that Lisa has very strong skills and her acting was superb. Tyra thinks that Lisa did a great job too. She committed, and gave Tyra chills when she looked into the camera and screamed. We get a flash to this, and Lisa looks like a tiny rabid pet monkey. What Lisa has to work on is not looking so much like a tiny rabid pet monkey.

The judges deliberate. Angelea is the phoenix who rose up out of the ashes from the depths of darkness. I know I don't have to tell you that ALT was the one who said that. He's proud to see that Angelea can connect words and give him a narrative. Wait, I think ALT just expressed relief that Angelea isn't illiterate. He's clearly been deeply affected by Life Is Not a Fairytale: The Fantasia Barrino Story. Nigel says that Angelea is potentially a time bomb, except when she's lovestruck around Tyson. Tyson uncoincidentally thinks that she's brilliant. Lisa has talent and can perform. Nigel says that her whole repertoire is about action and movement and expressing herself. She's a performer. Tyson says that Lisa did her thing, and Tyra says that she gave Lisa everything difficult, and Lisa did it.

Laura didn't impress ALT, and he's very over the Hee Haw elegance. Nigel says that Laura is apple pie, and a lot of people will identify with her. However, Laura's Modelland performance was overtly sexy to the point of being crass. However, Tyra loves that Laura is game for anything. Tyson is a fan as well. He's not so crazy about Allison though, who he thinks should be more outgoing. Nigel says that Allison is not personable, which is a big issue. She's unusual and weird, but when she turns it on she's amazing in front of the camera. Tyra talks up Allison's catwalk corridor scene, and Nigel says that her footage overall was the most visually interesting. Tyson invokes his soul brother Willis Drummond with a "Diff'rent Strokes" explanation.

The judges continue to deliberate as the ladies wait backstage. One and a half hours later, the judges are apparently still going at it. The weird thing is that ALT seems to be advocating for Laura, and Nigel for Allison. From the sidelines, Ken Mok -- who is a fucking ringer for Jon Gosselin -- tells the judges to make a decision. This is apparently the longest deliberation ever for America's Next Top Model. Tyson tells Tyra to make an executive override, and she says that she doesn't override. With that, we head to commercials. I know you are dying from the suspense.

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America's Next Top Model

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