It's back-to-back Top Model episodes tonight, including the finale! We begin with Andre Leon Talley visiting the girls at home to deliver bouquets and wisdom about being in the world of international fashion. Turns out he wears a cape/muumuu at all times, not just at panel. The girls get to ask him questions, and we learn that Andy Warhol gave him his first job and that he at one time lived at the YMCA! Angelea can relate to the hardscrabble part of his past.
The girls are told that they're going to head to Queenstown, home of beautiful and diverse terrain, for their photo shoot. On the plane, the Jays pop out to tell them that this is in fact a runway challenge, 35,000 feet in the air. I have my doubts about whether they were actually flying or not, but we'll put those aside for the moment. The lesson is: top models always need to be prepared. Angelea is not so prepared, as she only has one high heeled shoe. How did that even happen? The girls have to walk down the center aisle of the plane with personality. Alex has some cute flight-attendant moves, but hams it up just a bit too much. Angelea does a version of her crazy-ass club walk, and Raina's "flirty and fun" reads "linebacker." It's Krista who once again dominates the challenge with her bouncy, smiley, jacket-working walk. She wins the opportunity to walk in New Zealand fashion week and a whole bunch of jewelry.
When the girls get to Queenstown, they encounter mountains, valleys and sheep. The scenery is pretty, and the girls are going to have to be ugly. They're styled in extreme hair, makeup and clothes, and will have to push through and sell whatever it is they're selling. Jay puts everyone on edge by announcing that two contestants will be eliminated. With their corsets, poufy hair, and black lipstick, the girls have a kind of goth Wuthering Heights thing going on, with various degrees of ugliness. Alexandra seems to get the worst of it. She looks uncomfortable, and though her photo is okay, it's nobody's favorite. Raina's shots are good, but she still has problems being ugly and edgy enough. Angelea is a bit bland, and her photo is oddly blurry when it's shown at panel. Perhaps this is why Tyra says she looks like a ghost. Krista does a good job and actually almost brings ALT to tears. She's the first one to get a photo and be guaranteed a spot in the final two. This is only right, since she's dominated the second half of the season. The second finalist is Raina, leaving Alex and Angelea to pack their bags. Raina and Krista learn that they'll be walking in a personality-filled fashion show for Anna Sui.
Previously: Tyra got to see some of the girls work magic with shadow and light at a shoot where she was a photographer. Who knew holding a tablecloth or wicker chair over yourself was so high fashion? Jessica and Raina struggled to bring edge to their photos, and it was Jessica and her commercial kiss-of-death who got the inevitable boot. Four bitches remain! And this is part one of a two-hour season finale, which is another piece of evidence to support the theory that Tyra lives to torture me. (Piece of evidence number one: Super Smize.)
The remaining girls return to their amazing New Zealand penthouse and celebrate being the final four. Krista's best-of-week photo is displayed as digital art, and the panel comments overlaid on it tell us that she's a classy, mythological androgyne. Who isn't these days? Krista, who is also some sort of mythological statistician, says that they all have a 25% chance of winning this shit. She tells us that it was scary getting best picture three weeks in a row, because your next photo could be crap. You have to go above and beyond the good work that you've already done so you're consistently improving. What this girl has is tenacity and a work ethic. When she first told us that she tried out for the show, like, twelve times, I thought that meant that she was completely delusional. And then she came on the show and gradually started kicking skinny model ass and taking names, and totally proved me wrong. Good for her. Krista doesn't want to go back to being a store manager, and knows that -- at the ripe old age of 24 -- this is her last chance to be a model. She's not going to let anybody take it away from her. E.g., she will rip the weave right off your head and make herself a vest from it, if that's what it takes.
Alexandra tells us that she hasn't won best photo yet, and so was upset that she didn't have her name called first at the last panel. Krista, of course, beat her. However, Alex thinks she'll be in the final two. To be a plus-sized model, she says, you have to be so much more than every other girl around you. Forty pounds more, to be precise. When you hire a plus-sized model, Alex says, you know you're getting kick-ass personality and amazing confidence. I don't know. I think plus-sized models can be just as boring and insecure as everyone else. I guess you do have to give them points for eating more than a plate of lettuce with balsamic vinegar for dinner, though.