America's Next Top Model

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Ugly Americans

Raina stands between Krista and Alex, and sticks a hand slash mock-microphone in Alex's face and asks, "What do you have to say about being in the final four?" Alex pushes Raina's hand away with disgust for her utter dorkiness. Alex says that Raina acts like a twelve-year old, and it is difficult if not impossible to engage her in a genuine conversation. Raina runs around the house yelling, "Final four!" and dancing, and Alex looks at her like she's a total idiot. Which, maybe. Alex thinks she's more relatable than Raina, but concedes that Raina might be able to ride her strong face all the way to the top. That sounds really gross, but you know what she means. Raina tells Krista that she never thought she'd make it this far. Krista says, again with disgust, "I knew you would. That face." Raina tells us that the other girls don't like her. She thinks this is because they're irritated at not being able to upset, bother or hurt her. I think it's actually because she's just irritating. Raina says she's a really happy person. If she becomes America's Next Top Model, she's going to use as her story the tale of starting off as a really insecure girl who was picked on relentlessly by so many people. We see some childhood photos of Raina, and though she sports no front teeth and a mullet in one, she's totally cute in the other. Volleyball and modeling have boosted her confidence. Every day she's getting better, and hopefully that's an inspiration to others. And I mean, if you're a young girl I guess it's better to be inspired by Raina than a Pussycat Doll.

Angelea, meanwhile, is still mad that Krista keeps winning. Additionally, Raina has only been in the bottom one time and Alex has gone from the worst to second-to-the-best. Angelea says that she came into all of this with no experience, but knows that America is ready to see someone like her be America's Next Top Model. Someone who is batshit crazy? Yes, yes we are.

Without further ado, Andre Leon Talley enters the girls' home wearing his judging cloak (which is apparently just an everyday cloak that he also wears at judging!) and holding four giant bouquets of flowers. Tyra sent him there to talk to the girls, and perhaps to put a spell on them to make them all more interesting. Krista says they were shocked to see him, and afraid that he might accuse them of dreckitude given that they're in their casual gear. And then it's time for some words of wisdom from Angelea. I'm just going to give this to you verbatim, because that's how it's best served: "Andre, he gave us all flowers -- real flowers, not fake flowers. I'll bet these flowers cost a lot of money, and if they didn't, good job Andre, because I believe they did." It's possible that the only flowers Angelea has ever seen in Buffalo are the fake single roses (some of which play music!) at the gas station, so this must be a real treat.

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America's Next Top Model

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