America's Next Top Model

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Ugly Americans

And then we get a commercial featuring the voice of Miss J.! He has apparently gotten Air New Zealand to give us a special deal -- $798 round trip (plus some small print) from L.A. or San Francisco to Auckland. Not bad, and definitely a trip worth making!

When we return, it's panel time. Tyra is wearing a jumpsuit that could potentially fly her around the world itself. She compliments the girls on looking so fantastic. She must not be looking at Alexandra, who is wearing dowdy shorts and a tank top. And FLATS! Bad news. There are prizes, there are judges. Jay Manuel is the guest judge. Tyra reminds everyone that this is a double elimination. The two girls who remain will stomp to the death in an Anna Sui fashion show! That's great. Anna Sui has personally chosen every outfit that will be in the fashion show -- namely, the ones where it won't matter if they get ruined. Tyra did an Anna Sui fashion show when she was a mere toddler, and it was one of the funnest shows she's ever done. And one of the clips we most often see of Tyra on this show. Am I right?

Raina is up first for evaluation. Her best shot is interesting, and Nigel says that it is indeed ugly-pretty. Raina confirms that she did feel ugly-pretty, and that her corset gave her a whole new feeling of poise. ALT thinks that the photo is gorgeous, and that her eyes give them impression that something not so sweet and nice has happened to her. Zombie attack, clearly. Mr. Jay notes that Raina struggled a bit on set, because she was so fixated on being pretty-pretty. Tyra agrees, and says that she didn't see Raina doing anything to get out of the box. She was the prettiest in her photos, which in this case is a bad thing. What a stupid jerk, being so pretty all the time. God.

Angelea is next, wearing another fierce dress that she won during the go-see challenge. Tyra loves it, and ALT tells her that she has a wardrobe that will last her seasons. Upon seeing Angelea's photo, Jay tells her that she was probably the person who was most confused with the creative. So confused, apparently, that her photo is wicked blurry. I know they're not serious that this out of focus photo is her best one. Jay isn't a fan of her blurry-ass photo, though ALT enjoys it. He says that there's something ethnic in the photograph that's beyond her ethnicity. Tyra likes it, because there's something ghostly in Angelea's blurry face, and it's almost like she's come to haunt somebody, blurrily. Nigel notes that Angelea appears totally upset right now, instead of glowing and inspiring the judges. Jay keeps talking about the subway shoot, and how Angelea set that bar for herself. She can go back there, because the power in the photo came from her.

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America's Next Top Model

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