America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 764 USERS: B-
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The Sistine Crappel

Next is Anya. She walks in her big fur collar and shiny PVC pants. I have to say that very few people could wear what she's wearing and look so gorgeous. Gai says, "Anya...you are so blonde." She thanks him and laughs. In addition, she's so skinny, so young, and so fresh. Anya is what we all dream of being, minus the tiny bit of brain damage. Then there's Whitney, who gets total bitchface when she walks. Gai totally checks out her ass. He says that she's so American, then tells her that she has a great, beautiful face and can do what she wants in her life with her face and the model. Well, okay then. And finally there's Lauren. She's wearing a great white shirtdress and lumbers stiffly. She hopes that she impresses Gai, but admits that her walk isn't the best. Gai tells her that she is the tallest, and has very beautiful legs. He is pretty diplomatic, isn't he?

Gai only can pick one winner, and that winner will get a Gai Mattiolo original red carpet dress. And it is...Anya! She's excited, ecstatic, and appreciative. Whitney's response to Anya's victory? "Are you kidding?" She is not so thrilled that Anya has been kicking arse in the challenges.

The girls go home, where they find Tyra Lisa Mail: "Facile, Brezza, Bella. Love, Tyra." Well, duh. Katarzyna puts her multilingual skills to use and decodes that this means, "Easy, breezy, beautiful." The girls, with the exception of Lauren, scream and jump. Katarzyna wonders if they will have to do a commercial in Italian for Cover Girl. Katarzyna is psychic. Lauren's response? "Crap, crap, crap. Cover Girl [rolls eyes]. What I've been dreading the whole time." Lauren says she knows she's going to suck. She's not a Cover Girl, and a Cover Girl isn't her. I think she should be proud of that, but it might not serve her all that well in this particular competition. Commercials.

Oh, and then it's time for Saleisha's life. Not only was she on the cover of Seventeen, she got to speak to a group of young girls about their dreams of being on the cover of Seventeen. This was undoubtedly Ann Shoket's stupid idea. But it's good to see the youth of America is being inspired by someone besides Miley Cyrus, I guess.

America's Next Top Model

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