America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 764 USERS: B-
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The Sistine Crappel

When we return, Anya gently wakes up Lauren and tells her they have to leave in a half hour. Lauren wants to run, but can't. She's dreading the Cover Girl commercial, but says that she's going to try her best. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Whitney is very excited about this shoot. It's very important, she says, and she wants to prove that she can be a Cover Girl. Jay Manuel greets the girls. He is standing with Brent Poer of Cover Girl. They look like two-sevenths of the "Gays Through the Ages" finger puppet set. They also both look like Jack from Will and Grace, in professional bow-tie/vest mode (Brent) and club-going optical-illusion shirt unbuttoned to the navel (Jay). They also look more ridiculous than ever.

In any case, the commercial is for the Cover Girl Queen collection. Jay wants beauty through the jet lag. And then Brent breaks the news -- there's a script for them to learn, and it's in Italian. Lauren looks especially not thrilled. The girls head to hair, makeup, and wardrobe, and attempt to learn their lines. Fatima was in the bottom two last week and has a lot to prove. She wants to show the judges that they were right for picking her. Sutan tells Katarzyna that she should be able to figure it all out pretty quickly, since she speaks different languages. She seems pretty confident. Jay enters and introduces the girls to their commercial director, Piersandro Buzzanca. And I mean, best name ever, right? We don't even have to put that one to a vote. I plan to say it as much as possible. Jay gives the girls the tip that it might help to learn their lines phonetically.

Piersandro Buzzanca leads the girls through their movements. They come into a café and look into the camera and deliver the first line. They stop at the counter and deliver the second line. They walk by a table to their boyfriend, kiss him, and then deliver the third line. With attitude! Sounds pretty easy, right? Well, we'll see. Each girl gets 30 minutes to get it right.

Anya is up first in a slinky leopard-print getup. What she says is pretty unintelligible. I mean, I know that's par for the course with Anya, but still. At one point Brent, Jay, Piersandro Buzzanca, and the director's assistant just crack the heck up at her. Jay says you could tell she had no idea what was going on. Again, a shocker. When she finishes, Jay tells her that her being flirty and cute at the table with her boyfriend saved the whole thing. She worked it, which was smart. She bids them goodbye in Spanish. Oh, Anya.

America's Next Top Model

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