America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
The Sistine Crappel

A van driver gives the girls Tyra Mail. Or, rather, Tyra Lisa mail. Yes, Tyra's face is superimposed on Da Vinci's masterpiece. Because the actual Mona Lisa totally has dead eyes, and Tyra couldn't put that out as an example to the girls. I'm sure she'll also be painted into "The Last Supper." She's the one on the end with the big plate of ribs. Tyra will argue to the death that Jesus loved him some baby backs. The Tyra Lisa Mail reads, "You're in Rome now, but this is no holiday. It's going to be a lot of work if you want to become America's Next Top Model. Head just around the corner. Find the flag of Rome, and your new home. Love, Tyra."

The girls find the flag of Rome hung on the outside of their new building, and enter la casa di modelli. There is a pool inside the house and tons of artwork and red couches and pink beds and a gorgeous terrace. Katarzyna confirms that Tyra is definitely hooking them up.

The new environs, however, don't seem to be agreeing with Fatima. She's feeling feverish and congested and climbs into bed. She's been through so much to get there, she says, that this is the last thing she needs. It is totally the year of the plague, too. Italy is not immune! Anya asks Fatima if she's okay, and Fatima says that her throat hurts and her body hurts. The other girls eat pasta and prosciutto, and Whitney asks why Fatima's not there. Anya explains that she's sick, and the other girls bitchily ask what's wrong with her. Well go look in the bedroom you stupid freaks. Anya says she doesn't know, and that she's not a doctor. And thank God for that, really. Whitney says that if they knew the symptoms there might be medicine involved. Like she's Dr. Quinn, all of a sudden.

Dominique takes this moment to opine to the others that Fatima has so much potential, but is nowhere near where she needs to be as a model. She interviews, "Fatima, get it together, girlfriend, that's what I'm thinking. Hell, we're all under the weather, I'm under the weather, too, but you don't hear me complaining about it." Just let the bitch sleep in peace for a minute. God. Anya thinks that maybe Fatima is just jetlagged. The others just kind of laugh. It's frustrating for Anya that the other girls take every opportunity to talk about others just to boost their own self esteem. She kindly brings Fatima some chicken. I mean, chicken is the last thing that Fatima wants, but the thought was nice. Fatima has a fever and a cough, and will soon be sleeping on a pillow of chicken. She weeps that she doesn't want to go home as we head to commercials.

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America's Next Top Model




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