America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

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Potes: A | 1045 USERS: C+
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The 15th Time's the Charm

Liz comes back cleaned up and wearing her bathing suit. We learn that she has a one-year-old baby, works two minimum-wage jobs, and is a full time college student. She gets food stamps and a whole variety of government assistance because she is, as she says, "Making $7.50 an hour and living in the hood right now." I love this girl, despite the fact that she seems to have a tan-line Playboy bunny symbol on her stomach. Optimistically, I guess it could be a stretch mark. Tyra says that what Liz is doing is noble, and that sometimes you need a little help. Jay notes that Liz seems balanced and very together. This probably means that she'll be out by the third episode. Liz interviews that some of the other girls are like, "Oh my life! Blah blah blah!" and while she doesn't think she lived the worst of the worst and isn't on the street, she's definitely been through some hell. But she's trying to get to heaven and so wants to let it go. Tyra thinks that Liz is really pretty but also hard, which is a good combination.

And then it's time for the requisite idiot. Sara, 21 from Menifee, California, wrote a rap. I'd translate it, but that would mean having to rewind it a few times, and there is but so much sacrifice I can make for this job. Suffice to say she ends it by screaming, "I'm white but I can rap!" Jay says, "So did Vanilla Ice." Don't forget Marky Mark! Sara also has a son, who she proudly notes is a quarter black and has tan skin with blonde hair. Miss J. presumes that she got her rapping ability by sleeping with a half-black dude. If he had been all black, the rap might have been listenable. Tyra can't even imagine what kind of crazy-ass mom Sara must be.

And then yet another girl can't find her way into the room. It's Kendal, who was also found on Tyra.com. Tyra notes that Kendal is "pure," and asks why being intimate with a man grosses her out. Kendal simply says, "Like, I don't like semen." Sound of record scratching. Kendal elaborates: "I don't like semen on my hand. I don't like..I'm like...kinda grossed out about it." So Kendal totally gave some guy a hand job in a car or something and had no wipes about. I mean, it is a particularly viscous fluid. Miss J. theorizes that Kendal is a germophobe. I don't actually think that's it, but nice try. Kendal says, "I just like to cuddle. Something wrong with cuddling?" She has a point. Cuddling is really awesome. It is a lot more awesome than semen, unless you're taking the future of human existence into account. Kendal has never been out of Alabama or away from her family, so this is a new experience for her. But she knows she's top model material. Tyra and the Jays agree, saying that she's stunning. Tyra even thinks she's one of the most beautiful girls they've seen in a while. If only she was mute.

America's Next Top Model

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