The girls line up before Tyra in their finest tacky clothes. Tyra tells them that she wants them to go past the type and ride that hype. She probably worked really hard on that bon mot. Fourteen girls will go on to be in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model. And the first finalist is Anamaria! Joining her are: Kendal, Rhianna, Chris, Jane, Chelsey, Liz, Sara, Lexie, Esther, Kacey, Kayla, Ann, and Terra. The winners are pleased. The losers -- and especially Jordan -- are a mess. De'yana is one of the rejects as well, and there are four pretty-looking girls who we never met. Tyra hugs Jordan and says she's surprised by her tears. She didn't think Jordan really wanted this, and that this was just something fun, interesting, and cool for her to do. Or, by Jordan's own standards, something not fun, interesting, or cool to do. Anyway, Jordan is seriously crying. She says that a lot of the girls who made it through deserve it, but a lot of them are fake. I don't see how that's a particular disadvantage in a modeling competition.

Meanwhile, who cares about the losers? We have fourteen finalists competing for an Italian Vogue spread! The Tweedle sisters are beside themselves. Ann is, I think, clutching rosary beads and squeaks her disbelief in dog whistle tones. Tyra tells everyone that the competition starts now. Or, really, next week. Huzzah!

Coming up: The show's commitment to high fashion is called into question by the fact that they're staying in California; then reaffirmed with a Diane von Furstenberg show, featuring a runway that's three stories up. Someone falls but apparently does not die, and the first photo shoot makes several of the models cry. Excellent!

Want to immediately access TWoP content no matter where you are online? Download the free TWoP toolbar for your web browser. Already have a customized toolbar? Then just add our free toolbar app to get updated on our content as soon it's published.