America's Next Top Model
Welcome to High Fashion

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The 15th Time's the Charm

Jane is quite beautiful. Kayla is a sweetheart and Tyra wants to hug her. She was a mess when she came in, and could use some polishing. However, she's killing Jane in their shot together and isn't even trying. Ann is a 6'2" wonder, and Tyra thinks there's potential there. Jay agrees, but says that she's a little lost. Tyra thinks they can find her and rescue her. Sometimes this show is like a reverse The Blind Side for gawky Caucasians. Rhianna is amazing and may win this show. Jay nicknames her "Willow." Lexie tried to sell the garment by jumping in her photo. It didn't work, but with some training she might get it. Miss J. simply says of Jordan: "She. Looks. Crazy." The discussion should really end there, but Jay says that a crazy model is bookable for the runway. Tyra enjoys Jordan's look, because she's intrigued by dirty people with big ears, but questions whether or not she wants it. With that, the judges have made their decisions.

The girls line up before Tyra in their finest tacky clothes. Tyra tells them that she wants them to go past the type and ride that hype. She probably worked really hard on that bon mot. Fourteen girls will go on to be in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model. And the first finalist is Anamaria! Joining her are: Kendal, Rhianna, Chris, Jane, Chelsey, Liz, Sara, Lexie, Esther, Kacey, Kayla, Ann, and Terra. The winners are pleased. The losers -- and especially Jordan -- are a mess. De'yana is one of the rejects as well, and there are four pretty-looking girls who we never met. Tyra hugs Jordan and says she's surprised by her tears. She didn't think Jordan really wanted this, and that this was just something fun, interesting, and cool for her to do. Or, by Jordan's own standards, something not fun, interesting, or cool to do. Anyway, Jordan is seriously crying. She says that a lot of the girls who made it through deserve it, but a lot of them are fake. I don't see how that's a particular disadvantage in a modeling competition.

Meanwhile, who cares about the losers? We have fourteen finalists competing for an Italian Vogue spread! The Tweedle sisters are beside themselves. Ann is, I think, clutching rosary beads and squeaks her disbelief in dog whistle tones. Tyra tells everyone that the competition starts now. Or, really, next week. Huzzah!

Coming up: The show's commitment to high fashion is called into question by the fact that they're staying in California; then reaffirmed with a Diane von Furstenberg show, featuring a runway that's three stories up. Someone falls but apparently does not die, and the first photo shoot makes several of the models cry. Excellent!

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America's Next Top Model

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