America's Next Top Model

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Previously on America's Next Top Model: The girls got dragalicious with some queens and Whitney Port fashions, which was only slightly less high-fashion than being outfitted completely in human hair. The majority of the girls learned that they were going to be sent to the fashion capital of New Zealand, while Anslee learned that she was eliminated for not being able to model H2T. Six bitches remain!

The girls head home in their limo, and celebrate their imminent New Zealand trip. Alexandra is a bit subdued, as she is infused with the sepia-toned memory of falling in the bottom two. She admits that she deserved it, since her picture was so heinous. It really, really was. Alexandra hopes that New Zealand will provide a new beginning, and that she'll be able to show the passion that Tyra requested of her. Meanwhile, we are reminded that Krista, as part of her prize for having the week's best photo, is going to fly first class to New Zealand. She gets to share her good fortune with a buddy, and so chose Angelea to accompany her. Angelea tells that Krista is her girl, but she'll have to watch out for her as well, since there can only be one. It's always the best when the super stank BFFs turn on each other, isn't it? Its inevitability never decreases its delightfulness.

Back at the house, Krista is excited to see her best-of-week photo and she does her celebration dance with soon-to-be-frenemy Angelea. She tells us that, as tough as it was to ascend to the top of the ranks, staying on top is going to be even harder. Alasia packs and tells us that she's surprised that she's gotten this far in the competition. She adds that the other girls underestimated her, and thought that she was dumb or lacked common sense. In all fairness, she did pose with her hand over her ass crack in the first photo shoot. If it weren't for the fact that ALT happens to like that look, she very well may have been out the door. Alasia says that she's bringing her kudo bars. Is that actually a saying? Because all I can think about now is the vaguely healthy deliciousness of Kudos' chocolatey covered goodness. They were surpassed perhaps only by Carnation Instant Breakfast Bars and that other 1980's treat, Fruit Roll-Ups. Wash them down with a Capri Sun and you've basically experienced my childhood.

Their bags packed, the girls head to the airport and the next thing we know we're chillin' in first class with Angelea and Krista. The beds are so curvy! They toast, with some sort of drink made of liquid gold, and enjoy their personal TVs as they mock the other girls. And then everyone is in Auckland! Ah, New Zealand, land of magical beauty and sheep. Jessica tells us that she thought New Zealand was roughly above Canada. This is evidence that children are being left behind every day, folks. Jessica comments that New Zealand kind of looks like Arkansas, which it totally does not. She then confessionalizes that she's always been under someone's wing -- her mom, her dad, her shotgun husband. She's now having a ton of new experiences and spreading her wings, and she loves it.

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America's Next Top Model

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